With his indie credentials firmly established by neo-noir debut Brick and talents further supported by 2008’s The Brothers Bloom, writer-director Rian Johnson returns with his take on the sci-fi genre. A time travel chase film injected with both an underlying sense of moral precariousness and welcome comic relief, the set-up isn’t new, but the delivery certainly is. With Johnson deftly combining influences alongside his own discernible flair, Looper may call-back to cinema’s past, but its own modernity is never in question.
While critically condemned, the Resident Evil franchise has nevertheless achieved considerable commercial success and enjoyed a wide audience. That’s all likely to change after Resident Evil: Retribution, a film so laughably incapable, so shamelessly derivative and so woefully unengaging that it’ll likely succeed where its zombie antagonists have failed… in mortally wounding Milla Jovovich’s Alice.
Really? OK – Battle of the Pacific is a dreary WWII yarn sold to me by Best For Film as a ‘Martin Sheen war drama’, which is true if you take ‘Martin Sheen’ to mean ‘Daniel Baldwin’ and ‘war drama’ to mean ‘fiasco’. Running at a good two hours that feel like a bad three, I only made it to the end by turning the sound down and practicing my ukulele as I waited eagerly for the bad news from Hiroshima – and before you mount your moral high horse, just try sitting through Battle of the Pacific yourself and then tell me you don’t want to see people die.
What’s your favourite Len Wiseman movie? Before you do yourself an injury trying to weigh the cons and cons of Underworld and Die Hard 4, let me put you out of your misery: as of August 29th, 2012, the answer will be Total Recall. Heck, it might even be your film of the summer. And believe me, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about.
In 2006, unofficially-crowned Worst Director of All Time Uwe Boll made an action-fantasy video-game adaptation (of the Dungeon Siege games) called In The Name Of The King. It cost $60million, starred Jason Statham and Ron Perlman, and boasted supporting turns from Ray Liotta and Burt Reynolds. It made less than $14million and has a Rotten Tomatoes score of 4%. Now, six years later, he’s made a sequel. Super.
Matt Smith (yes, Doctor Who) and Eva Green (yes, Eva Green) made this in 2010. Originally called Womb, it had to be rebranded as Clone for the UK DVD release. The story of a woman who clones and gives birth to her dead boyfriend, you’d think this would be amazing sci-fi, or at least amazingly bad, but in fact it’s just a beautifully shot, but painfully dull story, lacking the gross factor, the sci-fi factor or even the moral debate about the concept of cloning factor. Matt Smith is great though.
Ball-achingly slow, utterly pointless and with a completely inexplicable ending, The Paranormal Incident is a glossy, shining example of exactly what not to do with $3million and a camera. You could have made some really nice, 1080p HD hardcore porn with that sort of budget; it probably would have been better-scripted, better-shot and better-acted than this steaming pile of puerile garbage.
Are you in the mood for a horror film? Then stay away from this turkey. If you ever thought it was impossible to make a horror with zero scares in it then think again. Dark Mirror manages to be one of the most tedious films ever made, which is strange as the idea behind the story is tried and tested and even features in old children’s show Are You Afraid of the Dark. The children’s version however is far scarier than this could ever be and better acted too. If you had a camera that killed whoever you took a photo of, what would you do? I’d find the director of Dark Mirror and pap the crap out of him…
Cripes! It looks like the Australian government is trying to cover up a bonzer story! Grab your camera and your torch and let’s head down into some dank tunnels to investigate…and die… That is the premise behind this latest offering to the found footage genre by Australian filmmaker Carlos Ledesma. Found footage? Straight to DVD? Now I know what you are all thinking but stop it right now, as this is actually quite a good film. The acting is strong and the locations are brilliant. Is it groundbreaking cinema? No. But hey, two out of three ain’t bad.