#10 – RED 2

RED 2 is a sequel to the film RED, and is thereby two times as red as its predecessor, which is approximately the same amount of red as Anthony Hopkins’ face when he finished watching RED 2.

Colourfulness: 13%

 

#9 – Blue Velvet

David Lynch’s zany romantic comedy tells the story of a young man, played by Kyle “The Flintstones” MacLachlan, who’s looking for love and finds a severed ear in the process. Chaos ensues.

Colourfulness: 25%

 

#8 – Aquamarine

Aquamarine is a film about a mermaid! One of those things that’s half fish and everyone wants to have sex with (but how?).

Also of interest: beloved songstress JoJo is in this film.

Colourfulness: 33.5%

 

#7 – Crimson Tide

This film is about periods.

Colourfulness: 47%

 

#6 – Ladies in Lavender

Ha ha! Look at them there, in all that lavender. This is vintage Dame Judi Dench and Dame Maggie Smith. Always getting in the lavender and then coming home smelling of lavender and you have to give them a bath. Anyway, this is a film about two old dames who befriend a “mysterious stranger” who washes up on a beach near their house. It turns out he’s a Polish violinist and not a paedophile as the term “mysterious stranger” implies.

Colourfulness: 63%

 

#5 – The Brown Bunny

Salacious unsimulated fellatio scene? What salacious unsimulated fellatio scene? This film is about an ADORABLE BUNNY. Get your minds out of the gutter.

Colourfulness: 72%

 

#4 – The Color Purple

The only thing Oprah loves more than enlightening people about slavery is looking fabulous in purple.

Colourfulness: 80%

 

#3 – Pretty in Pink

Little known fact: John Hughes demanded that Molly Ringwald wear over 50,000 different shades of pink during filming, leading to an unprecedented costume budget of over $10 billion.

Colourfulness: 85%

 

#2 – Blood and Chocolate

This sounds less like a Hugh Dancy film about werewolves than 1) a colour palette from the early Noughties: “Hey guys, so I was thinking warm earthy tones for the atrium? I’m seeing blood and chocolate?” or 2) a discount fetish supermarket.

Colourfulness: 99.5%

 

#1 – Navy Seals

BOOM! That was Charlie Sheen throwing a grenade into a seal’s face, probably. BOOM! Winning! The real winners here are us, the audience.

Colourfulness: 112%

 

Have we forgotten to feature any colourful films? Are you still reading this? Let us know below!