Top 10 Screen Couples
The folks locked away in the crumbling ivory BFF towers aren’t really big fans of Valentine’s Day. It’s understandable, isn’t it? If you’ve seen the terrible rom-coms they throw our way every February 14th, you’d feel exactly the same. To really get into the mushy gushy stuff, we’d all have to begin initiating coitus with one of our fellow writers and that, my dears, is considered incest. Which is frowned upon in most polite societies.
However, we do appreciate love when we see it done properly. Which is why, to celebrate the forthcoming celebration of all things ooey-gooey, we’ve decided to countdown our 10 favourite lovers ever to grace the silver screen. However, being a BFF article, it’s probably going to avoid all the Edwards and Bellas and stick to the hipsters of the romantic spectrum…
Let’s get it on.
#10 – Severus Snape and Lily Evans
Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows: Part 2
Oh Snape. So embittered, so humourless, so loathed by all. Nobody ever understood you, not one little bit… not until Harry gazed into the Pensieve in the final Potter installment. And then we discovered your true loyalties. When you were a boy, you fell in love with the little red-haired girl who lived close by; you taught her magic, you made her feel “normal”. And, even after you were placed in separate houses, even after you plunged deeper into the realms of the dark arts, even after she married another man, you remained in love with Lily for the rest of your life. And long after hers was ended. As you say yourself, it was a love that lasted “always”.
Unrequited love sucks, huh?
#9 – Clementine Kruczynski and Joel Barish
Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
Why do we like these guys? Clementine and Joel seem to HATE each other. She’s too busy dyeing her hair to take a joke and he’s too busy being utterly underwhelming to make her feel special. But they’re so real, aren’t they? So much angry realness. And, to be honest, it’s only when they delete one another from their memories that we realise just how well they work together. And sure, as Winslet herself points out:
“I’ll get bored with you and feel trapped because that’s what happens with me.”
S’true. But they’re down with that. And maybe that’s something we all need to think about when we begin to hate each others guts; is it more fighting with each other than it is to be alone without the other? No? Yiesh. Go and find yourself a nice antique rocking chair to die in.
#8 – Mia Wallace and Vincent Vega
Did you just watch that dance? Then why are we still talking about this?
#7 – Lee Holloway and E. Edward Grey
Some may call it an abomination, some may call it perverted but, for those of us able to look past the sordid bits, the love story of Secretary has to be one of the cutest ever. And when I say sordid, I mean sordid; think dead worms, fetters, a urine-soaked wedding gown and a woman half-crazy with starvation. And casual masturbation in a public bathroom. And… I’m not doing this. I’m not going through all the bits that make us squirm just a little. IT WORKS FOR THESE GUYS! Perhaps pain can be healing as long as it’s applied by the right hand… and as long as you ask permission first.
#6 – Megara and Hercules
The thing is, right, a lot of the Disney princesses are a bit susceptible to a case of the love bug. It’s always a case of “hey, we shared a dance… shall we get married?” or “thanks for rescuing me… shall we kiss now?” If we all thanked the fire brigade like that, things would be very odd. Think of all the angry wives, for starters. We love Hercules because Megara is a sexy independent woman with a dark past. She doesn’t believe in love. She doesn’t just rest her heart on her sleeve and moonily await her knight in shining armour. Nope. We see her wooed and chipped away at and worn down by her would-be beau, to the point where she finally concedes that, sure, he might be a good guy.
And that’s how we roll.
#5 – Gale Weathers and Dooey Riley
Scream 1, 2, 3 and 4
There’s nothing quite so conducive to true love as sheer terror, is there? Dewey and Gale have a pretty volatile on-and-off relationship, made more extreme by the fact that, every time they get down and dirty, someone seems to get stabbed. The fourth instalment of the knifey franchise shows us that the pair finally managed to settle down and make married life work. So what if she’s a bored housewife and he’s being wooed by his deputy? They still know what matters. CATCHING THE KILLER AND HAVING A SMOOCH, THAT’S WHAT!
#4 – Han Solo and Princess Leia Organa
Star Wars: Episode V – VI
Oh my! As IF any girl could resist Han Solo, the ultimate rebel bad boy! Well, to be fair to Leia, she did manage to reject his advances for the first movie and a half, which gave us plenty of fast-paced banter and a whole Millennium Falcon-load of sexual tension. And, to make things even better, they have guns, high-speed chases and constant excitement; it’s the perfect on-screen action romance! So what if she made out with her brother to make him jealous? We’ll all try and forget about that. The force is strong with this couple, after all. They can handle a tiny bit of incest…
#3 – Amélie Poulain and Nino Quincampoix
For all of us who are too shy to approach the opposite sex, there is Amélie. Introverted and reserved, the beautiful girl with the wild imagination falls madly in love with a man she spies, yet she can’t bring herself to talk to him. Been there, my dear. Instead, she manipulates a series of events to bring them together quite fortuitously. And it’s not a case of casually stalking him, working out his routine and posing by the coffee shop whenever he walks past. Ahem. Not that… not that we know anybody who’s ever done that before. It’s more a case of looking out into the world and working out the most unorthodox approach to love.
“So, my little Amélie, you don’t have bones of glass. You can take life’s knocks. If you let this chance pass, eventually, your heart will become as dry and brittle as my skeleton. So, go get him, for Pete’s sake.”
Wise words. But, for whoever you are reading, take out the “Amélie” and replace with your own name. It makes far more sense that way…
#2 – Morticia and Gomez Addams
The Addams Family
From unrequited love to the most involved romance ever caught on screen; there’s always been something about Gomez and Morticia’s unabashed PDAs that we’ve admired. Despite the dark and unnatural forces that surround the family, despite the crumbling mansion, despite the fact that they have three children (biggest romance killers ever) the pair are utterly infatuated with one another.
Maybe this V Day you should try out a “cara mia” or a “mon cher” or an impassioned kiss in the middle of a restaurant. If it doesn’t do anything for your beloved, it’ll at least cause all the other happy couples around you to feel inadequate and sad. That’s always fun.
#1 – Rhett Butler and Scarlett O’Hara
Gone With The Wind
When these two lock lips, it literally sends shivers down our love-deprived spines. And we’re pretty much on board with Rhett’s theory on the subject: “You should be kissed, and often. And by someone who knows how.” Yes. Yes we should. But, despite all the sexy smooching, this war-tossed couple continue to spar and deny their feelings for one another well past the point where it’s too late. And, frankly my dears, we DO give a damn about that bittersweet ending. We all know that Rhett and Scarlett would never have just let go of each other. Maybe, somewhere out in the fog, she does think of some way to get him back. She must have, mustn’t she? Please tell us she did…