Adam Sandler Wins Best Actor
Do you know why we hate children here at Best For Film Towers? It’s not because they’re small, or spoilt, or bratty, or noisy. Oh no. THAT, my dears, we could live with. We hate them because, when power is put into their grubby little mitts, they use it to work evil.
And they have proven this spectacularly by voting Adam Sandler the Best Movie Actor. For none other than his dual titular role in Jack And Jill.
The 25th Annual Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards was, on the whole, a terrifying insight into the minds of the younger generations. Taylor Lautner won Best Buttkicker (is that even a thing?) after competing in a press-up competition with Will Smith. Katy Perry took home an award for her role as Smurfette in the Smurfs Movie.
And Kristen Stewart scored Best Movie Actress. For Twilight. Ah well, at least she had an enlightening and eloquent acceptance speech to hand…
“This is, like, the coolest award show ever!”
Why? Why has any of this happened? Why do children suck so much? WHY?!