F5 – you sunk my career! Neeson to star in Battleship

Liam Neeson is set to steer his reputation across a jagged reef by starring in Peter Berg’s Battleship.

Following this summer’s embarrassing turns as Hannibal Smith and Zeus in The A-Team and Clash of the Titans – both big-screen remakes of things which should clearly have been left well alone – he’s inexplicably decided that playing an admiral in a film based on an impossibly dated game that could be learnt by Katie Price would be a good idea.

Wait, there’s more! As we reported not so long ago, Neeson’s going to be starring opposite Rihanna. RIHANNA. She of the ridiculous hair and ill-chosen boyfriends, whose CV is notably devoid of any theatrical experience whatsoever. We might be being a little hasty here, but it’s going to be dreadful, isn’t it? Truly, madly, deeply awful. Probably worse even than the photo accompanying this article.

And we haven’t even mentioned the best bit yet – Neeson’s fleet is going to be fighting aliens. Yep. We’ll leave you with that for now.

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