Kristen Stewart playing a porn star

With all the world going mad for sex thanks to Fifty Shades of Grey it was only a matter of time before Hollywood jumped on the band wagon and surprise, surprise, Kristen Stewart got there first. Word is that Stewart is producing and starring in new indie thriller Cali, in which she will play Mya, a porn star who had to flee LA with her lover making a snuff movie… but then returns years later to help out her younger sister who is now in trouble.

Snuff movie? Snuff movie?! Cor, she really is delving into the realms of GCSE devised drama exam here. But still once again it is nothing new for K-Stew who can’t seem to be break away from her Twilight obsession with sex and death. Can’t she for once go and do a fluffy rom-com? Sigh…

In order to play this role Stewart is having to go through all kinds of harrowing experiences, like DYING HER HAIR PLATINUM BLONDE and GETTING A SPRAY TAN! The horror…the horror! She has also announced that she is hitting the gym hard to try and get the perfect porn star body and has “vowed” to look like a stripper. Set those standards high, girl! Perhaps she should be spending some more time trying to contort her face into a smile instead? It might build more muscle tone.

In a recent interview Kristen said that whilst reading the script she really identified with the role and found some similarities between herself and the role of Mya. “If you don’t know why someone is the way that they are, then you’re just playing a caricature of a girl.” Dear lord woman… lighten up! You’re K-Stew, not Dame Helen Mirren!

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