Nicolas Cage is a wild one, as the whole world knows. When it comes to picking scripts, the boy’s methods are un-Orthodox, but they certainly get results. Recently, however (well, shall we say for the last decade? Two decades?) these results have fallen short of acceptable standards, many would say. News has just come in that he has signed up for another script, no doubt following the same process that brought us…whatever he made last last didn’t go straight to DVD. This time, he’ll be staring in a film intriguingly and confusingly titled Tokarev.

Helming the piece will be Neon Flash director Paco Cabezas, who is making his American directorial debut, having previously worked in Spain. The script has been written by Jim Agnew and Sean Keller, and finds Paul Maguire (Cage), a former cop, “looking for his daughter’s kidnappers and trying to avoid the pitfalls of the past.” Right, this screams TAKEN to us, right? Why is everyone trying to be Liam Neeson – for God’s sake there can be only one! First Sean Penn, now Nick Cage. Nick Cage is Nick Cage, he doesn’t need to be Liam Neeson as well.

No word yet on production details, but the producers have been selling the rights to the movie at the European Film Market in Berlin. And in case you were wondering, the title ‘Tokarev’ is apparently a Russian bottlenecked pistol cartridge. I think we know what we can expect from the film then. Hurray.

Can Nicolas Cage also be Liam Neeson? And if he can, will the universe tolerate it? LET US KNOW