Snow White and the Huntsman: the trilogy

Snow White and the Huntsman producer Joe Roth has delighted Twihards and made everyone else look longingly towards the poisoned apple shop with the news that the upcoming Grimm Brothers adaptation (starring Kristen ‘ooh, what big teeth you have’ Stewart) will be part one of a trilogy.

Roth revealed that “This story will end, but there will be questions remaining for these three characters”, by which he presumably means some combination of Snow White (Stewart), Prince Charmant (Sam Claflin), the Evil Queen (Charlize Theron) and the eponymous Huntsman (Chris Hemsworth). We can, therefore, presumably be sure-ish that Theron won’t be killed off, or that if she is her prone corpse will open one devilish eye half a second before the credits cut in.

Hemsworth’s character has been described as “a mercenary… a non-descript bounty hunter” whose job is to capture the torrent of young ladies fleeing the Queen (there’s an erotic thriller’s worth of back story right there if anyone’s interested). Meanwhile, Snow White herself is anything but the archetypal damsel in distress – after eleven years of incarceration she “escapes and learns the ways of a warrior in the woods”. We’re not even going to bother listing all the films this nonsense is ripping off…

If you have something nasty to say about Snow White and the Huntsman, say it below. If not, jog on.

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