PUT SOME CLOTHES ON ZAC, YOU’LL CATCH YOUR DEATH.

Oh hello there Summer. How y’doing? Whatcha been up to? Sure is nice to see you. So how long do you reckon you’ll – oh, you’ve gone.
It came, it went and, in honour of the sun’s fleeting but glorious presence, we’ve compiled our Top 10 Summer Movies. So next time watching the Female Greco-Roman Wrestling or the preliminary rounds of the Women’s Lightweight Snatch (yep, totally real) doesn’t appeal to you, hunker down with one of these.

“You’re gonna wish you had three hands…”

The latest Broadway show to hit the silver screen is an eclectic celebration of all things 80s, unless those things include drugs or AIDS or, you know, anything of genuine interest or significance bar Tom Cruise in leather chaps. Boasting a ruthlessly PG-ified script, a series of songs you’ll probably never have heard before and Bryan Cranston getting gently spanked, Rock of Ages is just silly enough to take the edge off how dull it is.

OH GOD WHO SET FIRE TO THE SKY? Summer has finally arrived, and if you’re going to preserve that distinctive ‘cineaste tan’ (dead white skin, blue veins, squinting eyes) then you need to stay in the shade. And where could be shadier than a cinema? Apart from an adult cinema, of course. FUN WITH HOMONYMS!

Will Ferrell flexes his language skills and breaks out the bootlace ties for this Spanish-language action/comedy mezcla. Ever wanted to see some of Mexico’s most critically acclaimed actors charge around like they’re in a dire 70s soap opera whilst Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite says “I like bitches” over and over again? YOU’RE IN LUCK! Dodge the bullets and the dud gags and you’ll find plenty to enjoy here.

You just got served… a drink! In celebration of StreetDance 2 hitting our screens this weekend, we’ve gathered up our fave ever dance flicks, along with plenty of delicious alcohol, and decided to dance like no one’s watching. Except they are. They’re watching and they’re judging and they’re doing shots depending on how it all goes down…

We’ve always wanted an excuse to say the word “gigolo” in polite conversation…

Ever since we watched the new Three Musketeers film we’ve wanted to drink ourselves to death. That’s not a sensation that’s likely to go away, but if there’s one thing that might fix it it’s a massive injection of quality swashbuckling. Drink along with us, and if you don’t shift the despair at least you can hasten that coma!

Fancy yourself as a lover of all things cinema? Hungry for the most amazing films events around the country? Look no further; we’ve compiled a list of some of the most magical UK movie events in a big fat buffet of cinematic goodness for you to sink your teeth into…