Take a look, and marvel at the fact that Bradley Cooper isn’t alcohol poisoned and/or suffering from a head injury.

So what’s it all about? From what we can glean, The Words centres on a struggling writer named Rory (Cooper) seriously lacking inspiration. One day he comes across an old, unpublished manuscript by a world famous writer, and decides to try and pass it off as his own. We’re guessing the results aren’t too sexy. It looks like a damn good cast, and the fact that the studio has been happy to actually spend some time thinking about the marketing angle bodes well. What do you make of it? Sure, it’s not got the confident sparseness of something like the last Shame poster, but it’s a million miles away from all the floating head monstrosities we’re subjected to most days…

Speaking on the Graham Norton Show, Cooper revealed that writer-director Todd Phillips is working on the script for The Hangover Part III, which has been looming like a shadow on an X-Ray since its critically derided predecessor grossed close to $600m worldwide.

However, a tiny frisson of variety may be in the air after Cooper opined that the ‘wake up in [notoriously debauched city] in a drunken haze and track down missing [insert person] with the dubious aid of [insert comedy animal/infant]‘ formula may be varied for the threequel. “I think it’ll take place in L.A. and not adhere to the structure,” he said. “It might be different.”

Co-writer Craig Mazin has previously suggested a variety of directions for the third film, including a Fight Club-style set-up which reveals that Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms and Zach Galifianakis’ characters are all projections dreamt up by the famously underused Doug (Justin Bartha), who’s “…a sixty-nine year old Vet, he only has one leg… It’s a little bit like Jacob’s Ladder.” Well, that’d be different.

Do you think Warner Bros would dare mess with a winning formula? Let us know below!

Apparently, Bradley nabbed the prize due to meeting a variety of criteria. According to People, he can “whip up dinner, take you for a spin on his motorcycle and whisper sweet nothings in French”. Woah! Hold the phone. He can whip up dinner?! That is seriously sexy.

Bradley – who has recently been cast as a probably very sexy Satan in the upcoming Paradise Lost film – responded to winning by saying “My mother’s going to be so happy”. It’s a well known fact that it is every mother’s dream to have her son named Sexiest Man Alive (coming in a close second is having one’s daughter win Rear of the Year). You can imagine Bradley coming home with the trophy (we assume he gets a trophy) and his mother opening the door tearfully, running to meet him, grasping him in a hug and whispering softly in his ear, “So proud…so proud”.

All jokes aside, watch this video before you start drafting your letter of complaint about how Ryan Gosling should have won. And for God’s sake, keep your smelling salts nearby.

In traditional angelology the Archangel Samael is often associated with death and temptation; however, he is not a fallen angel and resides in the Seventh Heaven with the other members of the highest angelic caste. This is a bit complicated for an action film with Bradley Cooper in, though, so Samael has been slightly renamed and substantially sexed up. Sammael 3D will be a six-winged troublemaker who, jealous of the favouritism which God supposedly shows to Man, corrupts humankind by tempting Eve (Camilla Belle) in the Garden of Eden and incites Lucifer (Cooper) to open rebellion against Heaven.

Sewell and director Alex Proyas have worked together before on 1998′s Dark City – we hope a reliable and familiar face will help steady Proyas as he masterminds a film which could very easily go horribly wrong…

We’re obviously far too young to have seen the show in question, but according to Wikipedia it involves an international law enforcement organisation with a stupid name, an American and a Russian trotting around together in defiance of the Cold War and a SMERSH-alike supergang called T.H.R.U.S.H. (no, really) trying to take over the world. Standard.

Bradley Cooper is being courted by Warner Bros for the role of Napoleon Solo, a character created by Ian Fleming himself as a slightly less fucking mental small-screen version of James Bond. There is as yet no word on who’ll play Illya Kuryakin, Solo’s enigmatic Russian partner, or whether George Clooney will be involved as was rumoured last year.

The film will be set in the 60s like the original show, because updating it would be stupid and kill the premise, and it’ll probably be quite good because Steven Soderbergh is quite good. And he’s only got three films left until he retires, so now is not the time to make more nonsense like Schizopolis.

What? Sometimes we just report what’s actually happened – you can’t have a joke this time. Is that all we are to you? For shame.

And now – oh yes, there’s more – current director Juan Carlos Fresnadillo has washed his hands of the project and, rumour has it, moved on to Twilight studio Summit’s Highlander remake. Let’s hope it’s a bit less stressful.

Just to recap, The Crow is now without a star or a director, and as far as we know nobody’s even read poor Alex Tse’s draft script. Anyone else think Brandon Lee’s trying to tell us something?

Should this be one remake which is allowed to rest in peace just like Eric wasn’t? Let us know below!

Previous leading man Mark Wahlberg abandoned the role at the tail end of last year (although, along with the memorably talentless Channing Tatum, he is once again being touted as a possible replacement for Cooper), and of course original director Stephen Warrington is long gone as well. Mind you, Nick Cave’s still writing the screenplay! For now…

Should this ailing and probably unnecessary remake simply be canned? Let us know below…

All we know about the project so far is that Hangover lead Bradley Cooper will star as Lucifer in the tale of one angel’s fall from grace. This is what the official website has to say about the plot:

“Lucifer and Michael, God’s greatest archangels, share the bond of extraordinary friendship until God produces his greatest creation: Man. Unable to remain subservient to God if it means bowing down to humanity, Lucifer begins his dark descent and is cast out – only to plot his revenge.”

Take a look at the image below – it will be the first of many.

If nothing else, it will be damned interesting to see what Bradley Cooper can do when not chained to Zach Galifianakis et al, right?

The involvement of Cooper looks set to make this film a box office smash, but the more we read about it, the more it seems like the film will be a very loose adaptation. Very loose. In fact, it sounds like it’s going to be 300, but in Heaven.

Proyas has some decent experience in the action genre having directed the Best For Film favourite I,Robot. However, his last film was Knowing, and the less said there is about that, the better. The film is set for release in 2013, as they take the time to digitally un-chisel Bradley Cooper’s face.

Name:

Bradley Cooper

Date of Birth:

5th January 1975

Place of Birth:

Philadelphia, PA

Special Moves:

Acting

Films include:

The Hangover, The Hangover Part II, Limitless, The A-Team, Brother’s Justice, All About Steve, Wet Hot American Summer

What you probably already know:

Cooper made his small screen debut on Sex and the City in 1998 (where he played love-interest Jake) but it was not until 2001 that he was able to break into film. He achieved this in Wet Hot American Summer which he filmed while still studying in the Actors Studio Drama School at New School University. He ended up having to miss his graduation day because he was filming (good sign for a graduating actor) and his big break came in 2009 with The Hangover , making Cooper a household name overnight. Since then he has been appearing in films left, right and centre, with his back catalogue including Limitless, The A Team and Valentines Day.

On the 7th February 2009 he won hearts all over the world when hosting Saturday Night Live; he impersonated Christian Bale abusing crew members in a comedy tirade. Ironically he then went on to attempt to emulate Bale’s self-abusing role preparation; in the six months leading up to the filming of The A-Team he cut out sugar, salt and flour as well as undergoing a gruelling 2hour workout with a trainer every day. He considered this period to be his apex of physical health – nutter.

He’s been married once; to actress Jennifer Esposito (Crash). The couple married in December 2006 and then filed for divorce in May 2007. He was then involved with Renée Zellweger (Bridget Jones’s Diary) from 2009 but this romance ended in 2011.

What you might not know:

Cooper was born of an American-Italian (Gloria) and an American-Irish (Charles). He received a BA in English from Georgetown University in 1997. During his time here he became fluent in French (check out the video for proof) after he took part in a 6 month long exchange in Ain-en-Provence, France.

While studying at the Actors Studio Drama School he filled his spare time by helping out in LEAP (Learning Through the Expanded Arts Program) a not-for-profit organisation that teaches acting and movement to inner city children. His summers were also far from boring; he hosted Lonely Planet’s Treks in a Wild World for the Discovery Channel in 2000. During this time he did everything from kayaking with Orca whales in British Colombia to ice-climbing in the Peruvian Andes.

At the beginning of his career agents instantly pinned him as a pretty-boy making meaningful roles difficult to come by. He claims that David Lynch’s production of The Elephant Man inspired him to become an actor. For his graduate thesis he played the title character of John Merrick on stage at the Actors Studio. His hero is Daniel Day-Lewis.

He also cuts rather an imposing figure at 6”1’ with size 14 feet. He adores cooking, and is also the proud owner of two pet dogs; Samson a German short hair pointer and Charlotte a chow retriever mix.

Bradley Cooper quotes:

“I think it was awkward more for the crew to watch a naked Asian man’s testicles dangle in front of my neck 40 or 50 times. But for some reason I didn’t realize how sort of ridiculous it all was. I know Ken (Jeong, the owner of the Asian testicles). He’s a really good friend of mine. “
“I was in a coffee shop once and the waitress was like, ‘What do you want, Miss?’ I was 10 or 11 – the worst age to have that happen.”

What to say at a dinner party:

“Bradley has been taking on a lot of pretty boy roles recently but I believe he has the capacity to portray a multi-layered persona. I would encourage him to explore the depths of his psyche by collaborating with David Lynch who was, after all, his original inspiration.”

What not to say at a dinner party:

“That man has ridiculous clown feet. I bet he can kick himself in the forehead without even bending his legs.”

Final Thought:

The charmed life seems to be continuing for this pretty boy turned serious actor. He has many projects lined up for the coming months including (but not limited to) Paradise Lost, The Place Beyond the Pines, The Words and The Crow. So if you fancy following Bradley Cooper’s continuing rise to fame (or just sit in the back of the theatre and curse him for being perfect) stay sharp and keep an eye out for these babies!