Sing along if you know the words: Reed Richards is elastic… Sue can fade from sight…

It’s grim. It’s really, really grim. No amount of preparation or love for your child can prepare you for Nativity 2: Danger In The Manger, which has more in common with Invasion of the Body Snatchers than it does with any other Christmas film. One could make a cogent argument that this film is a secret military project to liquify the brains of the populace.

Truth or dare? Think carefully about your choice, especially if the person asking you is a gun-wielding, ex-army, gay-hating lunatic. The bad guy in Robert Heath’s new horror is all of these, as well as being a David Tennant lookalike with a posh voice and a lot more money than sense. This is yet another addition to the oversaturated low budget Brit Horror genre and it seems that British horror writers’ love affair with sex, death and drug-taking kids is sadly far from over. If you fancy a laugh then Truth or Dare is a good choice… unfortunately all of the laughs are unintentional.

The ubiquitous Noel Clarke is back once again with yet another Brit Flick. This time however he is steering clear of urban gang culture and trying his hand at sci-fi/horror instead. Noel, haven’t you heard? If you can’t do anything good then don’t do anything at all! Here you go everyone, I saw Storage 24 so you don’t have to.

BETWEEN THIS AND THE MUPPETS WE’RE GETTING VERY ANNOYING

Anton Yelchin, Imogen Poots and David Tennant grab their stakes and stock up on holy water ready to do away with a vampiric Colin Farrell in Craig Gillespie’s re-imagining of of 1985’s Fright Night. Yes it’s another vampire film, yes it’s another remake and yes, Chrisopher Mintz-Plasse only has that one character, but come on, how often do you get to see Doctor Who in leather trousers?

After the surprising success of the first St. Trinian’s reboot in 2007, a sequel was always a risky proposition: it would either surpass the original and cement the franchise as a bona fide modern classic or sully the occasional chuckles of the original and sink the whole thing. We’d like to hope that that seldom-seen beast – the British comedy – isn’t quite dead at the box offices, with only rare examples like Shaun of the Dead hitting the big time. Can St. Trinian’s 2: The Legend of Fritton’s Gold reach the heights of its 1950’s predecessors?

Planned Hobbit films get year-long delay. Planned for a December 2011 release, Variety hinted that Guillermo del Toro’s highly-anticipated adaptation won’t been seen until the “fourth quarter 2012”. As well as delays in writing the second film’s script, MGM’s upcoming sale has also thrown a spanner into the works.

David Tennant to play Bilbo Baggins? Maybe, according to a (quickly deleted) Tweet from his (now ex) Burke and Hare star Simon Pegg, who makes more than one hint at Tennant heading to Middle Earth…

Simon Pegg has announced that former Doctor Who David Tennant has dropped out of John Landis’ forthcoming film Burke and Hare and his replacement is Andy Serkis aka Gollum.