The major vacancy in the eagerly anticipated sequel is for a brand new villain, as Eric Bana’s misguided Romulan miner Nero was destroyed by a black hole at the end of 2009′s Star Trek, a surprisingly successful film which became the first in the Star Trek series to win an Oscar.

Abrams has been very coy, revealing only that a discussion – “not even negotiations” is underway. Obvious villain choices are some sort of Klingon (dude. Have you seen that forehead?) or Khan Noonien Singh, the super-strong cryogenically frozen villain who caused all sorts of shit in the original Star Trek TV series and returned in the franchise’s second film Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. He was originally played by Mexican actor Ricardo Montalbán, so Puerto Rican-born del Toro would be a reasonably consistent choice (ignoring the fact that the character was nominally Indian). We’d like to see him play the Borg Queen, but nobody listens to us.

Which Star Trek villain should Benicio del Toro play? Let us know below!

Twilight Character: Dr Carlisle Cullen (vampires can do medical degrees too, you know)

IMDB Rating: 5.4

Dialogue Taster –
Mathayus: You! You betrayed your own father?
Takmet: Yes. He was very shocked.
[holds up his father's head]
Takmet: You could tell by the look on his face. (Real quote btw)

This film is a spin-off from The Mummy series, starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as the eponymous Scorpion King. Peter Facinelli plays someone called Takmet and looks a little bit like Eric Bana.

Seeing as we like both The Rock and Eric Bana, we’ve decided to let this film have the honour of only being the tenth worst film on this list. It’s an achievement, we promise!

#9 – LOL (Ashley Greene)

Twilight Character: Alice Cullen

IMDB Rating: 1.0.1

Dialogue Taster -
Ashley Greene: LOL?
Miley Cyrus: Lol.
Dog: Rofl.

We know this film isn’t out yet but we have a fairly strong argument for it being on the list: it’s called LOL.

#8 – Chain Letter (Nikki Reed)

Twilight Character: Rosalie

IMDB Rating: 4.0

Dialogue Taster -
Nikki Reed: Did you forward that chain letter?
Person: No. Why?
Nikki Reed: No reason.
[Everyone dies]

Imagine if that rating was this film’s grade point average that American kids are always talking about in the movies. Chain Letter’s parents Mr and Mrs Letter would be sooooooo psyched. Chain would have the pick of the colleges!

So this film is a horror or something? The description, WORD FOR WORD, on IMDB goes like this: “A maniac murders teens when they refuse to forward chain mail”. What? And don’t put your head down Nikki Reed, we know it’s you there. Unless you’re putting your head down to think about what you’ve done and pray for forgiveness from whatever twisted demon god it is you worship. In which case, go ahead.

#7 – Immortals (Kellan Lutz)

Twilight Character: Emmet Cullen

IMDB Rating: 7.0 (?)

Dialogue Taster –
Kellan Lutz: I’m Poseidon! Where’s my trident?! I’m going swimmminnnnngggg now.

We recently reviewed this film and – as far as we remember – gave it a glowing write-up. PSYCH! It was awful.

In Immortals, Kellan Lutz – who has a knack for being in bad films – plays Poseidon and goes around doing stuff? We can’t be sure and the sad fact is, we probably never will be.

#6 – The Roommate (Cam Gigandet)

Twilight Character: James (his characters have bland names to make up for his real life name being completely made up)

IMDB Rating: 4.5

Dialogue Taster -
Stephen: Hey.

This is a film about a young woman who becomes obsessed with her roommate and starts to steal her life. You’re thinking Single White Female aren’t you? AREN’T YOU?! If you are you really should have read the title of this one more closely.

The Roommate is basically a remake of Single White Female but worse (that is how remakes usually work). Probably the most interesting thing about this film is that it stars Leighton Meester and Minka Kelly who look a bit like each other. And of course, Cam Gigandet is in it as “Stephen”. Go Stephen! Go roommates!

#5 – Jumper (Kristen Stewart)

Twilight Character: Bella Swan

IMDB Rating: 5.9

Dialogue Taster –
Sophie:….

Ugh this film is boring. It’s so boring! It should be exciting, considering how much jumping there is in it! But it’s officially less fun than going on a trampoline. And it has Hayden Christensen in it shuffling about with his dead-eyed stare. Kristen Stewart is “Sophie” and she spends the film probably looking like she does here. We don’t know why Diane Lane is trying so hard to get in this photo. It’s almost like she wants everyone to know she was in this film.

#4 – Lady in the Water (Bryce Dallas Howard)

Twilight Character: Victoria

IMDB Rating: 5.7

Dialogue Taster -
Story:[to Cleveland on the walkie talkie] Cleveland, Run!

The genres listed under this film are Fantasy, Mystery and Comedy. It’s a comedy? Since when, M. Night Shyamalan? You can’t just call it a Comedy in hindsight because everyone watched it and laughed. “Oh, yeah that whole film was meant to be a joke. Haha!” – M. Night Shyamalan, just before he runs away and cries on his copy of The Sixth Sense.

Bryce Dallas Howard, daughter of Ron Howard, plays the lady in the water. Look at her here, with TWO of her silly faces. Oh, and she’s called Story. NOT A NAME, M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN.

#3 – Abduction (Taylor Lautner)

Twilight Character: Jacob Black

IMDB Rating: 4.0

Dialogue Taster -
Taylor Lautner: My entire life has been a lie.
Person: Shall we play Angry Birds on my iPad?
Taylor: I don’t like it. The bright colours confuse and enrage me.

Abduction, our old, terrible friend. This film has been a huge flop both commercially and critically but apparently there’s still going to be a sequel. How? Why? When? If it’s released after the end of 2012 then it’s fine because the world will be over by then. Just think, as the volcanic ash from Yellowstone’s massive, life-ending eruption is settling on your face, you can close your eyes in bliss and silently whisper your thanks to Nikki Reed’s demon god for being spared from seeing another Abduction film.

#2 – The Last Airbender (Jackson Rathbone)

Twilight Character: Jasper Hale

IMDB Rating: 4.5

Dialogue Taster –
[jumping up and down]
Sokka: Woohoo!

Hi again, M. Can we call you M? Sooooooo, all of us here at BFF are just wondering, like, you know – what’s going on? You know, like, in your brain? Did something happen to your brain? M, are you like one of those people that gets struck with lightning and when they wake up they can remember really long numbers or can speak Portuguese, only with you it made you stop being a good director and made you be an awful director? You can tell us if that’s what happened.

#1 – Twilight (ALL OF THEM)

Average IMDB Rating: 4.7

Surely you saw this coming.

If you can think of any other Twilight-cursed films that deserve a place on this list or if you’re offended by our fake film quotations, please comment below.

These days, Gwyneth Paltrow is dying of bird flu and telling people how to stop being like themselves and start being more like Gwyneth Paltrow on her website GOOP. Back in the day, Paltrow liked nothing better than putting on her best English accent and fannying around in front of the camera (fanny means bum in American). Perhaps most famously she portrayed snooty heroine Emma in the classic novel by Jane Austen (who we’ll get to later).

Who should have played Emma? Gwyneth Paltrow. She was pretty good.

# 9 – Renée Zellweger as Bridget Jones, Bridget Jones’ Diary/Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

Despite Bridget Jones being a bit of an English institution, the lead role in the film version of the book went to Zellweger, who hails from Texas and had to put on twenty pounds to look more English.

Who should have played Bridget Jones? Renée Zellweger. SHE WAS GOOD OK.

# 8 – Mel Gibson as William Wallace, Braveheart

Oh hello, Mel Gibson, old friend. Made it onto another of our lists have you? Welcome. Come in, you may leave your kilt and mullet at the door.

Listen, we all love Braveheart, the 1995 film depicting the exploits of Scottish icon William Wallace. It’s got a great soundtrack and great fighting and everything. But Mel Gibson is not Scottish and does not do a good Scottish accent.

Who should have played William Wallace? Mel Gibson. We love Mel, despite his terrible, terrible ways.

# 7 – Nicole Kidman as Virginia Woolf, The Hours

She was grumpy, really really clever and she killed herself by walking into a pond or something. You guessed it, it’s Virginia Woolf! (You might have also guessed it because her name’s in the title).

The Hours is some weird film from 2002 which charts three generations of women, played by Kidman, Julianne Moore and Meryl Streep. In the film, Woolf is writing her most famous novel Mrs Dalloway and having a big nose. Critics applauded Kidman’s performance, and she even got an Oscar for it.

Who should have played Woolf? Nicole Kidman. She got an Oscar and the people at the Oscars NEVER get anything wrong.

# 6 – Eric Bana as Henry VIII, The Other Boleyn Girl

Eric Bana is dreamy. Can we all agree on that? He’s also quite good at playing kingly figures, like Hector in Troy. But he’s not so good at Henry VIII. Actually, this whole film was pretty much an affront to British history, casting Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman as the Boleyn sisters.

Who should have played Henry VIII? Eric Bana. He’s dreamy, OK?

# 5 – Cate Blanchett as Elizabeth, Elizabeth/Elizabeth: The Golden Age

“She’s Australian?” we hear you cry. “Only as Australian as the day is long, mate!” we reply, whilst throwing another shrimp on the barbie. Yes, Elizabeth I is one of the most famous British icons, but you know what, Cate Blanchett is a very good actress. Plus, she does a spot on English accent in both these films.

Who should have played Elizabeth? Cate Blanchett. We already covered this.

# 4 – Jessica Chastain as Princess Diana, Caught In Flight

As we reported just this morning, breakout star of 2011 Jessica Chastain is rumoured to be starring in an upcoming biopic of Lady Di. There’s no word yet on the other actors involved, but we’ve decided to go ahead and cast (in our minds) Ralph Fiennes who does look rather fly in Prince Charles’ hair.

Who should be playing Princess Di? Jessica Chastain. Why the heck not? Her hair looks pretty fly like that too.

# 3 – Kevin Costner as Robin Hood, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

Oh hi Kevin Costner. How are you doing there? Oh what’s that? You’re playing Robin Hood, one of Britain’s most popular legendary figures? Cool! How’s the English accent coming along. What’s that? Oh. You’re not doing one? That’s weird.

Come on, at least Russell Crowe attempted an accent, some sort of accent, whatever it was.

Who should have played Robin? Kevin Costner. WHAT I LIKE HIM OK AND NO I’M NOT DRUNK I ONLY HAD ONE DRINK WITH LUNCH.

# 2 – Meryl Streep as Margaret Thatcher, The Iron Lady

Ahh Meryl Streep, rubbing her good acting in everyone’s faces all the time all over the world. This upcoming biopic of British PM Margaret Thatcher is getting us all rather excited, though.

Who should have played Thatcher? Meryl Streep duh. SHE SHOULD PLAY ALL THE ROLES.

# 1 – Anne Hathaway as Jane Austen, Becoming Jane

Julian Jarrold’s 2007 film focuses on Jane Austen before she found fame as a novelist. It also depicts her relationship with a young Irishman, James McAvoy (NOT IRISH).

Whose idea was this? Whose? Why? When? How? Anne Hathaway as Jane Austen? NO, WORLD, NOOOOOO!!!! Jane Austen is such a British institution! She should be small and pale and plain and have bad teeth and be miserable and not have any boyfriends!

Who should have played Austen? ANYONE. ANYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD. MEL GIBSON SHOULD HAVE PLAYED JANE AUSTEN.

Feel like we’ve missed anyone important off our list? Let us know below! And keep the Aussie-bashing to a minimum, please

Darryl Kerrigan’s (Caton) home is his castle. Ok, so it’s in the middle of an unfinished housing development, adjacent to Melbourne International Airport and still being added to and extended by Kerrigan himself, but that doesn’t matter. He lives there in relative bliss with his wife Sal (Tenney), sons Dale (Curry) and Steve (Simcoe) and his four greyhounds. There is a third son, Wayne, serving an eight-year sentence for armed robbery, and also a daughter, Tracy (Lee), who is a blissful newly-wed with her Greek-Australian kickboxing husband Con (Eric Bloody Bana in his first ever film – he looks so YOUNG!). Suffice to say, Kerrigan is probably the happiest homeowner in Australia; until, that is, he and his neighbours are served eviction notices by the neighbouring airport which is looking to build on their home. What follows is your typical David vs. Goliath story as Darryl tries to fight the decision and save his castle from the bulldozers.

It’s easy to see why this film was regarded so warmly at Sundance, as it plays perfectly to the kind of humour elicited by Napoleon Dynamite, or if we’re staying Antipodean, Flight Of The Concords. The comedy is about as dry as it gets, whether when Con and Tracy talk about their honeymoon, or when Steve rifles through the trading post to see if there are any good bargains.

I’m sure there are some things in there you’d laugh harder at if you were from that side of the world, just like there are things from Gavin & Stacey that might only chime with you if you were Welsh, but the regionality of the film isn’t to its disservice – rather, it expertly helps to cast the Kerrigans in their own little bubble, sealed away from the rest of Australia. Even the film’s grainy aesthetic gives you the impression that it’s a lot older than it is, and one can only assume this was a directorial decision as well as one informed by the budget.

Kerrigan’s unrelenting optimism and everyman sensibility is so bloody likeable that you just want pull open a tinny and kick back with him at his lake house – by lake house, I mean kit house that he’s built on a swampy marsh in the glamorously named Bonnydoon. When the court case looks to be going against him – and for a while it does – you genuinely feel for him and his family, which makes for some truly touching, if slightly over telegraphed moments.

But of course, eventually, the court case doesn’t go against him, and the plot unfolds with satisfying predictability. It doesn’t matter though, because it’s the warmth and tenderness with which this story is told that makes this film so memorable. If you like Napoleon Dynamite, Eagle Vs. Shark, Rushmore and other films of that ilk, then you’ll just love The Castle.

BUY THE CASTLE AT THE BEST FOR FILM SHOP!

]]> http://bestforfilm.com/dvd-reviews/comedy-dvd-reviews/the-castle/feed/ 0 http://bestforfilm.com/film-blog/top-10-best-superhero-actors-ever/ http://bestforfilm.com/film-blog/top-10-best-superhero-actors-ever/#comments Fri, 24 Jun 2011 16:45:55 +0000 k.monney http://bestforfilm.com/?p=123703 Green Lantern aside, we've seen most of the stars before. All the classic heroes have had a fair few outings with different faces by now, and if there's one thing we hate about competition it's not knowing who's the WINNER. Feel like arbitrarily deciding whether Michael Keaton's better at being grumpy than Christian Bale? Good.]]> With so many actors donning the suits or um…the skins of comic book characters we’ve often wondered who would be the best. With our (non) scientific means of deduction we’ll try and find out which incarnation of each classic character would come out on top!

Superman

Ever heard of the saying “start as you mean to go on”? Well that’s what we’re doing and we’re starting with a heavyweight. I’m talking about the Man of Steel, Supes, the Guy Who Wears Pants Inside-Out…Superman! The character who fought Nazis, Communists and probably saved a few cats in trees. Straight away George Reeves is out (didn’t ‘fill’ the suit and we can’t have that). Tom Welling is disqualified on the basis that we only saw him wearing the suit for 0.4 seconds. We’ve not yet seen anything of Henry Cavill in the forthcoming Man of Steel, so he’s excluded. Routh and Reeves go through on the basis that they embody the character better than Dean Cain did (as much as we like Lois & Clark: The Adventures of Superman).

Who wins? Reeves, mainly because those who followed him have not managed to top or surpass him yet. He imbued Superman with grace, charm and humanity, something that is really hard to do when you’re wearing a silly costume. As much as we liked Routh in Superman Returns, he did come across as a (slight) imitation of Reeves. Damn good performance though.

Victor: Christopher Reeves

 

Batman

First, lets rid ourselves of Clooney and Kilmer. The latter we can’t remember and the former has nipples on his suit for Christ’s sake! That leaves us with Bale, Keaton and West and each one managed to put their stamp on the character. West was campy but we’ll knock him out (KAPOW!) on the basis that we cannot remember his Bruce Wayne even if we try really, really hard.

Keaton’s Batman/Bruce Wayne was (necessarily) boring; the rich, unassuming oddball that went a little ‘nuts’. Bale’s version is more of a three-dimensional character, displaying fragility and a touch more empathy. We’ll go with Bale on the basis that his Batman his front and centre whereas Keaton always felt overshadowed by the villains – we can’t have the hero playing second fiddle to his adversaries. Keaton’s eyes were fantastic though (not that we stared at them for hours or anything).

Victor: Christian Bale… just

 

The Joker

A devilishly tricky group; well, apart from Cesar Romero (but at the very least he looked the part). We prefer our Jokers to be menacing, threatening and generally less like our uncles with make-up on. Jack Nicholson was heralded as the best comic book villain when Burton’s Batman came out but we can’t help but think that was down to it being Jack-freaking-Nicholson and not much else. He’s not as campy as Romero but it does seem like Romero was playing a character and not himself as Nicholson seemed to be.

So that leaves us with Ledger and Hamill. Hamill is helped by animation that made The Joker’s face into some sort of pointy nightmare replete with a cackling, maniacal laugh. Ledger’s Joker in The Dark Knight, however, is a tour de force. Whether it was down to his body language, his vocal intonations or laugh; you won’t find a more vividly realised villain here.

Victor: Heath Ledger

 

The Incredible Hulk

Did you just shout “Hulk smash!”, thump your chest and launch into the air?  Have no fear, only gamma-irradiated nerdy scientists have this affliction – if you fit this description then you may need help. However we’re stuck with comparing the Bruce Banners and Hulks. We’ll forget comparing the Banners as they’re wimpy, puny humans. Hulk, however, we’ll watch fight himself to the death.

Ang Lee’s Hulk is definitely greener but Leterrier’s Incredible Hulk does have a better hair cut. Also while Lee’s Hulk spends a lot of time jumping and sniffing flowers (who’s puny now?) Leterrier’s spends his time ripping cop cars in two and kicking people half his size across a field. For pure dumb inanity, the victory goes to The Incredible Hulk.
Victor: Edward Norton in The Incredible Hulk

 

Magneto

Despite looking like one of those toy figures with karate chop action in the picture above, Magneto is one of the most powerful comic book characters. Sir Ian imbues Lensherr with a dignity that belies his rather stark views on humanity. Fassbender obviously shares the same views but the reverence is replaced with an urgent need for retribution. Fassbender comes across as bit like Bond in X-Men: First Class whereas McKellen is an elder statesman in the X-Trilogy.

Who wins? Well, although Fassebender made an immediate impression, McKellen has had three films to assert himself in. For us it’s McKellen – although we do wish he designed a better costume, didn’t he watch The Incredibles and learn that capes aren’t practical?
Victor: Sir Ian McKellen

 

The Punisher

Who’s the best of a bad bunch? We’re not taking Dolph Lundgren’s Punisher into consideration, in fact we hereby ban any mention of it, from…now. Thomas Jane in 2004′s The Punisher and Ray Stevenson in the 2008 reboot/faux sequel Punisher: War Zone is what we’re left with. Such is our antipathy towards these adaptations we’re inclined to go with Stevenson. If this was rock, paper, scissors then Stevenson’s weapon of choice, a bazooka, would surely beat Jane’s longbow; that, and he looks like he could step on you and wipe your remains off with his massive knife. Intimidating.
Victor: Ray Stevenson

 

Thor

Verily, Mjolnir, rainbow bridges, Norse Gods! And other such nonsense. Many wondered whether Thor would be accepted by audiences this year but nobody remember that he’d already been in a film – the made for TV movie The Incredible Hulk Returns starring Bill Bixby! No one (apart from us geeks) will remember that TV movie because a) it was crap and b) it was very crap. Just look at the picture, all plastic armour, long hair and sheepskin covers. Hemsworth’s Thor is more regal and doesn’t look like he’s been herding sheep. Good God, was this even a contest?
Victor: Chris Hemsworth

 

Professor X

Hard one this is (our Yoda speak there) as despite Stewart having three films to build a character, McAvoy has the benefit of not being in a wheelchair and being able to jump and do exciting stuff. We’d like to point out that he has hair, not that we’re against any form of baldness. Stewart brings with him all his Royal Shakespeare acting experience, channelling the erudite and knowledgeable Charles Xavier, whilst McAvoy is more up front and in your face, a cocky word-smith who’s on his way to becoming the venerable Professor. We’re stuck here, we like both portrayals but we’d have to go for the gravitas of Stewart simply because he demands your respect.
Victor: Patrick Stewart

 

Mystique

Unfortunately this isn’t even a contest more a runaway victory. Rebecca Romijn Stamos is given way more to do with X2 alone, whereas Jennifer Lawrence sort of whines and complains for the duration of First Class. When everybody is using their powers Lawrence can be seen in the background not doing much. We want a little bit more action from our heroines and we certainly want them involved in more scenes where they use their powers. Remember when Mystique went in Logan’s tent in X2 and pretended to be all the women he’s met in his short life as an X-Man? Can you remember a scenes as good in First Class featuring Mystique?
Victor: Rebecca Romijn Stamos

 

Beast

Our first response to Nicholas Hoult’s Beast was to roll around our offices and laugh like idiots. Over time we’ve come to laugh less (slightly) and embrace it. Both Hoult’s and Kelsey Grammar’s Beasts look ferocious enough and Hoult definitely looks like an animal whereas Grammar looks like Frasier…but with fangs (a terrifying proposition). We’re not quite sure who we like best here but we’ll go for Grammar, although his Beast isn’t as well designed as the X-Men: First Class version which went down a Jekyll/Hyde route with Beast’s origin story. However there are shots where we just kinda laughed at Hoult and that’s not something you want to be doing when you’re invested in a dramatic storyline or action scene.
Victor: Kelsey Grammar

 

Did we get it wrong? Tell us who should win in the comments below!

]]> http://bestforfilm.com/film-blog/top-10-best-superhero-actors-ever/feed/ 3 http://bestforfilm.com/film-blog/top-10-kick-ass-little-girls/ http://bestforfilm.com/film-blog/top-10-kick-ass-little-girls/#comments Mon, 09 May 2011 11:24:08 +0000 r.parkin http://bestforfilm.com/?p=116072 Hanna, it got us thinking about other kick-ass girl tweens that could give Bruce lee a good hiding. You don’t want to mess with any of these chicks. Not that you would. They’re not even real, man. ]]> Ah, adorable little sweet-hearts aren’t they? No – Wait! Arrgghhh, what are you doing?!! Put those butterfly knives away I was only kidding!!! Stop! No, no, I beg of you, put down the razor ball, don’t even thinking about using Sectumsempra on me you – *guttural noises, flops to floor, raises fist in the air* – Damn you little girls!!!
Here’s the top 10 super hardcore, kick-ass girls that can do stuff like that.

10. Mathilda – Leon

Little Mathilda has no-one. Her whole family is killed by Gary Oldman, the bastard. So what does she do? She stumbles upon a hit man, as you do, and goes about learning his trade so that she can take beautiful revenge upon said bastard. She might not be as physically tough as some of the others on this list but she’s got heart! She wouldn’t be any good in a scrap, and she doesn’t actually kill anyone, but give her a gun, 100-200 metres of clear sight and she just might be able to pick yo’ ass off. Whilst wearing cool circle shades too, probably.

9. Padme Amidala –Star Wars: The Phantom Menace

Check it out! Natalie twice! Well worth the read now wasn’t it? Whereas in episodes 2 and 3 of the franchise destroying prequels to Star Wars Padme is a fully confirmed adult, in The Phantom Menace the Queen of Naboo is a wee 14-year-old whippersnapper. That doesn’t stop her leading a troop of men into battle, slyly disguising herself as a handmaiden and shooting up the side of a building with a Batman style grappling gun. Not bad Your Majesty, not bad. Just try not to fall in love with any latent Sith lords next time, eh?

8. Claudia – Interview With A Vampire

Kirsten Dunst?! Kick-ass?! Well yea – actually – she’s just a bit terrifying as Claudia the Vamp. There is something quite bone shuddering about a young vampire girl who would “appear to her victims as a little angel” then indiscriminately murder them. Then she goes and viciously slices Tom Cruise’s throat to pieces, so there you go. Stay well away.

7. Hanna – Hanna

You wouldn’t think that annoying girl from Atonement could even lift a dandelion without trembling, let alone break a ginger lady’s neck. I guess that means Saoirse Ronan can act? Well that’s good then. Who better to train you up and set you off into the world as a little crazy 16 year-old killing machine than Eric my-second-name-is-the-same-as-the-man-I-played-that-turns-into-the-Hulk Bana. No one, that’s who (well, I could probably come up with a few names). Anyway, she inspired this feature, and is really scary in her pale, blonde, freckly state. That alone makes her pretty hard to me.

6. Carrie White – Carrie

Ok, so ‘kick-ass’ is getting used a little loosely here. She’s more simply terrifying, insane and extremely powerful. If you upset her by, I don’t know, pouring pig’s blood all over her in front of the whole school on prom night, then you’ll get what’s coming to you. Which happens to be an arse load of telekinetic mayhem and pain. Would you mess with her? Well, probably, she deserves it, the little weirdo.

5. Hermione Granger– Harry Potter

Now, Hermione may not automatically spring to mind when you’re thinking kick-ass girls; but let’s review the evidence. She is the single most talented student at Hogwarts, meaning she can hex any bastard that falls into her path. She punches slimy Malfoy in his slimy face in flick number three. She’s been in her fair share of Death Eater battle scenes, holding her own every time. And in The Deathly Hallows she endures being tortured by none other than crazy haired bitch Bellatrix Lestrange. She makes Harry look like a bit of a pussy, quite frankly, and that’s why she makes the list.

4. Eli – Let the Right One In

Now naturally vampires are going to be treble ‘ard. They have super human strength and aren’t afraid to get into a ruck, maybe even bite into a few necks. Eli makes it onto the list, and beats Claudia, because of all these things and much, much more. Her life is rather difficult, you know? She is a lonely little girl who can’t even enter a room unless someone expressly states she can. When her boyfriend Oskar gets bullied at school, however, she rips the bullies’ heads off and leaves them in the pool. She then gives old Oskar a wry smile as if she’d accidentally spurted out “I love you” rather than just decapitated a couple of naïve school kids.

3. Gogo Yubari – Kill Bill Part 1

“Gogo may be young, but what she lacks in age she makes up for in madness”.Trust Tarantino to come up with a Japanese schoolgirl assassin. She is pretty much the coolest fucking thing in the world, swinging her little razor ball around on its chain in her cutesy tartan school skirt. Most people would worry about creating such a dangerous, overly sexualised teenager for the big screen, but not Tarantino, no sir. He lets her lose, making her toy with dirty old men before castrating them with a fucking Samurai sword. One word: awesome. She should have been used more.

2. Hit Girl/Mindy Macready – Kick-ass

The Daily mail called this film “sick” because of its portrayal of Chloe Moretz’ Hit Girl. The article even went as far as to state that “paedophiles are going to adore her”. Most people see the Daily Mail’s hatred of something as bonafide proof that it’s pretty bloody awesome.
Hit-Girl does exactly what she says in, er, her name. She wants nothing more than a tasty set of butterfly knives for her birthday, can take a bullet in the chest and she uses strobe lights to enact one of the coolest fight scenes I’ve ever seen, ending with an ice-cold “show’s over mother-fuckers” before blasting the camera. I mean, come on, that is just rad. And that’s before she single handedly kills a whole corridor of henchman.

1. River Tam – Firefly/Serenity

But at the top sits quiet little River Tam. It was such a shame that the subtle drawing out of River’s incredible skills was totally blown out of the water by the Fox Network’s ridiculous canceling of the magnificent Firefly series (too many adjectives?). River, a 17-year-old child prodigy has her brain prodded and shocked, making her a gibbering, genius fruit-loop. In one episode, thinking she’s playing a game, she looks round a corner mid gun fight, does a quick bit of maths, and kills three people with three simple shots before playfully stating “no power in the ‘verse can stop me”. It’s not until the film Serenity that she goes bloomin’ ape-shit on hundreds of “Reavers”, balletically slaughtering the lot of them. DON’T MESS. ‘NUF SAID.

]]> http://bestforfilm.com/film-blog/top-10-kick-ass-little-girls/feed/ 1 http://bestforfilm.com/film-reviews/thriller/hanna-2/ http://bestforfilm.com/film-reviews/thriller/hanna-2/#comments Fri, 06 May 2011 13:34:41 +0000 steven neish http://bestforfilm.com/?p=115866 Hanna could have easily wound up resembling a cinematic patchwork of half-baked genre constituents. It's a great relief, then, that Hanna is much more than the sum of its (many) parts.]]> Trained to kill by day, and quizzed multi-lingually from an encyclopaedia by night, Hanna (Saoirse Ronan) is being trained up as an assassin by her father deep within the Finnish tundra. Captured soon after she and Erik Heller (Eric Bana) decide to separate, Hanna is reunited with Marissa Wiegler, a corrupt CIA agent (Cate Blanchett) whose history is inextricably tied to that of the Hellers. Escaping from what turns out to be an underground installation in Morocco and left stranded in the desert, Hanna befriends a family of British tourists who give her a quick induction in relative normality. Soon tracked down by a mercenary named Isaacs (Tom Hollander), however, Hanna must complete her mission to rendevouz with Erik at a derelict Brothers Grimm amusement park in Berlin.

There aren’t many sixteen year-old actors who could convince as a hardened super-solider, reared from birth to be the ultimate assassin, and who would have thought that Saoirse Ronan – the softly spoken star of The Lovely Bones – would be the hit-girl director Joe Wright was looking for? Ronan nevertheless creates a compellingly calm centre to this storm of whimsy. Required to front about five films at once, Hanna is as much a coming-of-age Bildungsroman as it is a Bourne-esque actioner; Ronan grows from an emotionless, reindeer slaughtering factoid into an empathetic and surprisingly sweet young woman with complete conviction, not entirely without the help of first ever friend and teenage powerhouse Sophie (Jessica Barden).

Eric Bana and Cate Blanchett provide ample support as the loyal father and wicked witch respectively, with Blanchett in particular chewing scenes as the psychopathic dental hygienist who will stop at nothing to tie up every remaining loose end. It’s a role that demands tremendous diversity, and Blanchett fares substantially better with the abrasiveness of the required Texan droll than she did with her Ukrainian wubble-yous in Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Crystal Skull. It is Hollander, if anyone, who provides the film’s weak link, unfathomably cast as a turquoise shell-suited henchman with badly dyed blonde hair. Camping it up to dizzying heights, Isaacs really must be seen to be believed, and not necessarily in a good way.

A welcome departure for Wright, Hanna drops the director’s staple costume dramas (and the sentimentalism from his last film, The Soloist), and reimagines the humble fairy tale as a high-octane, high casualty conspiracy thriller. While character is often ascribed to sets or direction, Alwin H. Kuchler’s cinematography really does give a performance of its own, the stunning camera-work giving scenes a terrific fluidity, adding an extra layer of polish over the accomplished performances and spectacular set design. The score too, provided by The Chemical Brothers, conspires to create an electric, relentlessly engaging whole that both huffs and puffs Amanda Seyfried’s Red Riding Hood out of the picture.

That said, Hanna is not without its flaws. With the more outlandish references jarring creakily with the sporadic realism of the action scenes, you can almost hear the film-makers patting themselves on the back at how clever and deep they’ve been. If Hanna is a contemporary fairytale – complete with provincial heroine and big, bad wolf – it is a morality tale lacking in moral. Overcomplicating the story with various narrative mods and cons, but failing to pay lip-service to the various thematic innovations (when it comes to Hanna’s back-story the audience are more or less left to work it out for themselves), Hanna occasionally feels a few drafts short of completion. While the character may have the rest of her life to figure out what she is, the film itself sadly runs out of time.

With the amount of effort the script expends on referencing Grimm’s fairytales, then, it is difficult to criticise Hanna on behalf of narrative ambiguities or scatterbrained plotting. Whimsically brutal and strangely sweet, the film is a wonderfully dignified and intriguingly incomplete faerie story which boasts an outstanding performance from Ronin. Short, sharp and scored to perfection, you will unlikely see anything else like it this year.

]]> http://bestforfilm.com/film-reviews/thriller/hanna-2/feed/ 1 http://bestforfilm.com/film-news/andrew-dominik-to-direct-coogans-trade/ http://bestforfilm.com/film-news/andrew-dominik-to-direct-coogans-trade/#comments Wed, 09 Mar 2011 13:58:09 +0000 d.eagleton http://bestforfilm.com/?p=103453 Andrew Dominik, direct of Chopper and The Assassination of Jesse James, is directing Brad Pitt again in Coogan’s Trade. The tale of a Mob enforcer investigating a heist at a protected poker game, the project has attracted an cast list that reads like a who’s who of hot, vaguely macho acting talent.

Starring alongside Pitt will be Javier Bardem, Mark Ruffalo, Sam Rockwell, Casey Affleck, Ray Liotta, Richard Jenkins and James Gandolfini. Not only does this sound like a dream ensemble, but also a great night of hard drinking. I wonder who would be under the table first? Maybe Casey. Last man standing? My money’s on Gandolfini.

It seems the cream of the acting crop are lining up to work with Dominik, which is hardly surprising when you consider he illicited a career best performance from Eric Bana in Chopper, and Casey Affleck got an Oscar nod for Jesse James. He also gets great work from Brad. Unlike Tarantino. Who doesn’t.

]]> http://bestforfilm.com/film-news/andrew-dominik-to-direct-coogans-trade/feed/ 0 http://bestforfilm.com/dvd-reviews/romance-dvd-reviews/the-time-travelers-wife/ http://bestforfilm.com/dvd-reviews/romance-dvd-reviews/the-time-travelers-wife/#comments Tue, 09 Feb 2010 14:09:56 +0000 Natasha Hodgson http://bestforfilm.com/?p=9500 Based on the novel of the same name, The Time Traveler’s Wife explores a sometime traditional love story in a very untraditional way. It centes on the lives of two people ‘fated’ to be together, but one is plagued by a (very) rare disease; that he randomly jumps through time, so that their relationship is fundamentally fragmented, heartbreaking and frankly, very, very confusing.

Eric Bana plays Henry, an unshaven and agonised-looking guy who works in a Chicago library. Henry has lived all his life with this strange disorder, meaning he suddenly succumbs to epileptic-type fits during which he will vanish, and then travel backwards or forwards in time or space, usually only for a few hours. Rather than his jumps being totally random, he always ends up back (or forward) at moments that are important to his life. And they all involved one girl, the girl he is destined to marry. On their first meeting, he cowers humorously in bushes on her daddy’s lavish country estate, and begs her to go and get some clothes for him to wear. From meeting this strange man for the first time, the young girl (who will become a womanly Rachel McAdams) decides that this is the man she will marry. They struggle to live lives that are so fragmented, and Henry struggles to keep the secrets of the future to himself, not wanting to hurt his wife with the knowledge of what is to come. Creepy? Sort of. Confusing? Very. But interesting? Kind of.

This is really a story about what we are prepared to sacrifice for the ones we love, how there is no escaping our fate and the importance of fighting tooth and nail for what we feel we need. The strong performances from the two leads prevent this from becoming too emotionally soupy, but ultimately The Time Traveler’s Wife suffers from being a little difficult to untangle.

Special Features

Love beyond Words – Making of The Time Traveler’s Wife

]]> http://bestforfilm.com/dvd-reviews/romance-dvd-reviews/the-time-travelers-wife/feed/ 0 http://bestforfilm.com/dvd-reviews/sci-fi-dvd-reviews/star-trek/ http://bestforfilm.com/dvd-reviews/sci-fi-dvd-reviews/star-trek/#comments Mon, 11 Jan 2010 16:25:51 +0000 admin http://bestforfilm.com/?p=409 We need to be honest with you… we’re nerds – pocket protector owning, corduroy wearing, Windows 3.1 loving nerds and have been long before it became quasi-cool (thanks Pharrell). While our playground peers were debating The Ultimate Warrior and Hulk Hogan, we were having deep discussions about phasers, warp drives and why Captain Kirk would make the best dad ever. This makes us the worst type of nerds – Star Trek nerds. And while we’ve never gone to a convention, it didn’t stop us pestering our mother’s in to making us a Federation captain’s uniform out of a knitted yellow jumper, some kitchen foil and a carefully cut egg carton. Hence you can only imagine our trepidation at the prospect of the Mr. Mission Impossible 3 J.J. Abram’s, reboot – but we and our fellow geeks needn’t have worried.

For those of you who’ve spent the last year on a Class-M planet without transporter capabilities, Abram’s Star Trek re-imagines the original series. Thanks to a temporal incident the story of how James Tiberius Kirk (Chris Pine) becomes captain of the Enterprise changes. As does his character; to a rebellious youth whose father was killed in action and is headed nowhere fast. After accepting Captain Pike’s (an appearance that’s just one of the insider gems for the serious trekkies) offer to join Star Fleet he meets and instantly begins a rivalry with Spock (Zacharay Quinto), an instructor at the academy. Before things can get really ugly, the cadets must answer a distress call from Vulcan who are under attack by renegade Romulan Nero (Eric Bana) – the cause of the temporal incident. Without giving away more of the story, what follows is a sequence of events that finally culminate in Kirk becoming captain of the Enterprise, putting aside his rivalry with Spock and them saving the day.

Let’s get one thing straight, it’s true this is not your parent’s Star Trek, it’s not even the Star Trek of the late 80′s with Patrick Stewart ‘making it so’. What Abram’s has managed to do is update the essence of the original series and of its characters for today’s audience. Who, let’s face it, are more comfortable with the gritty realism of the recent Battlestar Galactica series than the hammed up campiness of Buck Rodgers in the 25th Century. But where the director’s greatest success lies is in his casting, with each of the leads harnessing their character’s unique traits without resorting to simple impersonations. Special mentions go to Karl Urban’s Bones, Quinto’s Spock and Pine’s Kirk – each bringing freshness yet familiarity to their performances.

Star Trek has enough action and drama to appeal to fans and non fans alike plus completely satisfy this nerd’s thirst for final frontier action. So fellow nerds, no longer do we have to hide our love of the Trek, J.J. has made it cool again. Rise up, storm the cinemas and watch with no shame – the time of the nerd has come!

Special Features

Commentary by Director J.J. Abrams, Writers Robert Orci and Alex Kurtzman, Producer Damon Lindelof and Executive Producer Brian Burk
Gag Reel
Digital Copy of Film
Deleted Scenes with Optional Commentary
Featurettes – A New Vision, To Boldly Go, Casting, Aliens, Score
DVD-ROM – Star Trek Free Trial Game for Xbox 360, Weblink to Star Trek Free Trial Games for PC and Playstation

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