Bringing Up Bobby, Famke Janssen’s directorial debut, is an excellent example of why some actors should stay in front of the camera. Although it’s reasonably well put-together, any attempt at drama, or comedy, or pathos comes off as aggressively soporific. You’ll spend less time watching the film than wondering if Milla Jovovich’s character is a paedophile. Flat, boring and stupid, no one need subject themselves to this rancid cinematic cheese.
The latest fairy tale movie-on-the-block is Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters; a gory, mindless re-telling and continuation of the Grimm brothers’ original folk tale. Strangely, it can never quite work out if it’s written for adults or children, incorporating a dull and simplistic script with a random splattering of heavy cursing and limbs being ripped apart from bodies. It’s an odd one, Hansel and Gretel may be at its best during the action but it’s still all thoughtless and long-winded.
An unbreakable skeleton, 7 blades and not a whisper of a shirt. Bring it on.
I AM INVINCIBLE!
A year on from the events of Taken, Bryan Mills (Neeson) had hoped to retire in peace but when he and his wife are kidnapped by a gang looking to exact revenge, he is forced to re-employ the very particular set of skills which saw Taken become such a a cult hit. Taken 2 is a pretty generic action film with none of the brutality or vibrancy of its predecessor but it has enough spectacle to ensure that cinemas will still get a significant number of bums on seats.