Bobby Burns has taken the beloved Disney Film and run it through the Hammer Films blender.

It’s one of the rules of the Internet – whenever something makes a lot of money AND is critically acclaimed, it’s due a colossal backlash. Contrary is what I would normally call it, and maybe that’s what I am being; a contrarian. But I cannot in good conscious read another article about how great Disney’s Frozen is without making a stand. This is it.

If we were big dogs at Disney, we would have promoted Frozen until we bled ice shards – it’s that brilliant. Exquisitely constructed, a divine visual and unexpected in myriad ways, Disney has given us one hell of a Christmas present for 2013. 90 years after they brought us the silent Alice’s Wonderland, The Walt…

Willem Dafoe does look a bit like a Disney villain, to be fair.

Three skiers are trapped in an abandoned chairlift. Their survival depends on life-or-death decisions. Should they try to escape or stay put and take their chances? Unless they want to end up frozen, there’s only one way to find out.