Lovely Jessica Chastain, Gary Oldman, Jason Clarke, we just reckon this is going to be great. Take a look, get acquainted.

We like the way neither Jason Clarke or Mia Wasikowska have weapons. Presumably because Clarke is playing a delicate wall-flower and Mia is just too DAMN BAD-ASS to need anything but SKIN. Probably.

Enjoying the Lawless coverage? Reckon we need to be drinking illegal alcohol whilst we write it? We’re WAAAAY ahead of you…

Tom Hardy is on gloriously gravelly form as Forrest Bondurant, one half of the infamous Bondurant brothers who made a fortune selling alcohol during the great Virginia depression. Here to stop him is a wonderfully disarming special agent (Guy Pearce), and bringing down the family name is his brother Jack Bondurant (Shia LaBeouf – WE BELIEVE IN YOU SHIA). Enjoy:

It’s a cast groaning with talent: as well as Hardy as LeBeouf you’ve got your Gary Oldman, your Jessica Chastain, your Mia Wasikowska and your Noah Taylor. We’ve still not got a UK release date locked down, but considering it’s causing all kinds of stirs at Cannes right now, it can’t be far behind…

Isn’t it nice when we can understand what Tom Hardy is saying? Tell us about it below…

The actor and Cantopop singer is reportedly being brought onboard as part of an effort to ensure the film’s success in China, following major investment from Chinese production companies Walt Disney China and DMG Entertainment.

Various idiots around the Internet are assuming that he’ll be playing classic Iron Man villain the Mandarin, but we really don’t think it’s likely that a film partially funded by and shot in China is going to feature an all-American superhero fighting a Fu Manchu-esque bad guy with a long moustache.

The Lau whispers follow hard on the heels of recent casting rumours which have named Jessica Chastain, Guy Pearce and Ben Kingsley. Will there be any room in the budget to pay for Robert Downey Jr? At this rate, we’re just not sure.

Given Pearce’s casting as rogue scientist Aldrich Killian, we think it’s more than likely that Chastain will be playing his colleague Dr. Maya Hansen, an old flame of Tony Stark’s who uses her in-depth knowledge of that pesky Extremis virus to help the superpowered playboy but (SPOILERS) turns out to be a right wrong’un. We love you when you’re morally ambiguous, Jess!

Fresh from a hugely successful 2011 (think The Help, The Debt, Take Shelter and The Tree of Life), Chastain is one of Hollywood’s brightest rising stars. Well played, Shane Black.

Do you love Jessica Chastain too? Well, piss off – we saw her first.

In Warren Ellis’ six-issue Extremis story arc, on which Iron Man 3 is apparently based, Killian tops himself quite early on but the effects of his decision to give the Extremis serum to some pesky terrorists continue to reverberate around the world. The evil that men do, eh Bruce?

One interesting thing to consider is that the Mandarin (who Papa Neish thinks is going to be played by Ben Kingsley, although there’s no guarantee at all that his character is being used), is later responsible for a re-release of the Extremis virus in an attempt to reshape the entire human race – pity he doesn’t know that although 2.5% of the world’s population will enormously benefit from exposure, all the others (including him) will just die. Is Killian being rewritten as a villain with screen time more appropriate to Pearce’s celebrity? Could his character be merged with that of Mallen, the domestic terrorist who is given frankly ridiculous superpowers by his exposure to Extremis? Could this all be absolutely unfounded speculation? Yes! Yes! Yes!

Iron Man 3 is out sometime after Marvel Avengers Assemble, which means we basically don’t care yet.

So “Scott” is one of those secret service assholes who’s always getting in the way of a maverick like Snow (Guy Pearce). He’s our hero and his name’s Snow! It’s probably because of his ice cold wit. Anyway, the film opens with Snow getting interrogated by “Scott” about some business that went down in a hotel room where some guy died and something something with a briefcase? THIS IS A SET-UP YOU SET ME UP etc. Elsewhere the president’s daughter Emilie (Maggie Grace) is on a “humanitarian mission” visiting a huge space prison where all the prisoners are kept in stasis for the duration of their sentence. But when one of the prisoners (Joe Gilgun) escapes, releases all the others from stasis and starts shooting the hostages (someone get these people some labcoats STAT!) it’s up to Snow to save the president’s daughter. He’s taken into space and just kind of climbs inside the prison in a spacesuit (in 2079, space travel is VERY easy) and, you know, they have to get out before the space prisoners take over/the space prison falls out of orbit and smashes into the Eastern Seaboard. Usual stuff.

Much like its nineties predecessor The Rock, Lockout is very playful in its approach, but doesn’t ever really commit to sticking its tongue fully in cheek. The result is a script which trundles along half-heartedly rolling out its paper thin plot and every once in a while pops out the odd funny gag, largely delivered by an inappropriately laconic Snow, who sort of just strolls around having bants with the hottie for the whole film. Joe Gilgun picks up the rest of the slack humour-wise, delivering the most lively performance out of the bunch. But humour aside, it’s really rather hard to root for any of these characters. At one point, “Scott” is telling the president that they have to blow up the space prison, killing Emilie but in the process saving it from crashing to earth. The president is all “no you can’t do that” (seriously, this guy’s performance is so weirdly unaffected and neutral it reminded me of those guys from Futurama) and it’s like, are we actually supposed to agree with him? Is “Scott” supposed to be in the wrong here for wanting to sacrifice Emilie in the place of the EARTH? Blow that bitch out of the sky already! “Scott” is literally saving the world right now. (You’re my hero, “Scott”).

Ultimately, Lockout is good fun, but disappointingly predictable and derivative to the point that it becomes a little boring. It’s like, come on guys who made this film! Invent some cool space stuff! Even the futuristic motorbike in the opening sequence is plucked right out of The Dark Knight. And effects-wise, Lockout often resembles a very hi-tech videogame, in place of a big-budget blockbuster. At times funny and likeable (due solely to the performances of Pearce and Gilgun), but largely bereft of genuine dramatic tension and interesting characterisation, Lockout ends up being a bit of a washout. BAZAM.

Okay, so we’re lying. We think it’s going to be JUST like Alien. But that’s not a bad thing, is it? We love it when humans head off on a scientific expedition to discover the origins of mankind and, instead, uncover an alien civilisation. That poses a threat to them. And mankind. AND EVERYTHING IN THE UNIVERSE EVER!

So are you ready to eyeball the brand-new film stills, courtesy of Kino Gallery? Yeah you are!

Buckle up Noomi, it’s gonna be a wild ride!

That seatbelt isn’t going to save you, dude. Ridley Scott’s pretty much guaranteed to wipe out the entire Prometheus crew before the film is over…

Charlize Theron has taken on the all-important role of interior decorator aboard the ship. Her choice of unusual red seats suggest she may be something of a villain; just look at Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen if you don’t believe me!

This guy looks really concerned. Either there’s some bad alien shit going down or there’s a hair in his smoothie… fingers crossed it’s the former!

Oh Idris, unfurrow that brow! Space captaining can’t be THAT stressful…

Guy Pearce’s character apparently has a God Complex. You can totally tell by his glasses and all-white ensemble; who does he think he is, anyway? God!? Oh…

Charlize’s unreadable expression is bathed in unnatural light. We don’t know what this means, but it’s very pretty to look at, isn’t it?

Michael Fassbender’s gesturing us towards a tunnel. It doesn’t look like a very nice tunnel at all, does it? Fuck you Fassbender! We don’t care how well you’re hung, we ain’t following you down there…

“Hey… hey guys! I think I’ve found something. I totally think I’ve found something alien and… ARGHHHH!”

What have YOU learned from the new Prometheus stills? Anything? Anything at all…?

In the clip, Weyland talks of how humans have reached a point where humans are on a par with the Gods of old thanks to technology. With a relentlessly arrogant speech like that, you almost want things to go tits-up for humanity, don’t you? Along with the clip, Fox have set up an Official Weyland Industries website, where you are invited to invest in the company’s vision. It makes you wonder who the more relentless corporation is, Fox or Weyland…

Has the Weyland promo video whetted your appetite for Prometheus? Let us know.

Nic Cage does his frowny acting as Will Gerard; a man who has it all and is, therefore, definitely about to lose it. We meet Will and wife Laura (January Jones) on the night of their anniversary (they must be happy); Will gives her a lovely necklace (they must be super happy) and they dance their no-troubles away in a jazzy club in a post-Katrina New Orleans (happiness in the face of adversity?). The next day Will goes off to teach underprivileged kids about Shakespeare cos that’s the kind of man he is, Laura goes off to her lovely cello rehearsal because that’s the kind of woman she is and Guy Pearce hasn’t turned up yet because he’s the bad one and we don’t need any insights into the kind of man he is. Essentially, it’s all going well; the kind of well things go in a Nic Cage film before, out of nowhere, all the Bad Shit goes down. And then suddenly, out of nowhere, Bad Shit goes down.

Will is called to hospital after Laura is attacked and raped in her car, and whilst numbly waiting for the police to show up he’s propositioned by an elegant stranger. An elegant, sinister kind of stranger that promises Will he and his organisation can deliver the kind of justice the police are unable to provide. Justice that involves a violent, secret death and absolutely no consequences, probably. Shaken, horrified, vulnerable and full of Nic Rage, Will eventually agrees to Simon’s (we told you) offer, and is almost instantaneously informed of the rapist’s untimely demise. Satiated, if a little shaken, Will is left with one warning – that at some point he himself may be called upon to do a favour. A phonecall, a delivery, something like that. Except, obviously, it won’t be anything like that. It isn’t long before Nic’s number is up and he’s given his task: to commit a murder himself. And despite his lukewarm protestations, it soon becomes clear that Simon’s the kind of guy who expects you do what he says.

The central premise of Justice – that when the police fail it’s up to the citizens to defend their city – is a perfectly solid one, though it has to be said that Guy Pearce doles out the offers we can’t refuse with significantly less charisma than Brando. In fact, the first third of Justice zips by with relative speed and intrigue, but soon begins to falter under the weight of its own set-up. Hinting at moles within every organisation, links with the police, newspapers – an entire, powerful underworld of justice-bringers, it simply doesn’t give itself the time to build a slick air of paranoia (see Fight Club), but neither does it bring enough action to batter its way through its plot-holes (a la Expendables). Instead, it’s forced to resort to ridiculous, half-hearted set pieces and hurried tidying away of loose ends in order to gambol towards a fairly stupid conclusion (spoiler: if in doubt, end with Massive Shooting).

January Jones does very little except look a bit sad (you may remember this from her characters in ANYTHING AT ALL), and though Nic certainly tries a bit harder than he does in Trespass, you can’t shake the feeling that behind his tortured, why-god-why-me eyes you can see the golden glint of yet another easy pay cheque. At the end of the day, it’s another Nic Cage film, and if you want to watch another Nic Cage film where Nic Cage goes hard in a post-Katrina New Orleans, you could do worse than watching Bad Lieutenant. Wait, which one were we talking about?

Well this first one appears to be a big stone head. Hi, Mr Stonehead!

This second one has some real people in it who appear to be – hey look! It’s Mr Stonehead again! He’s everywhere these days. And there’s Charlize and Idris chilling on the deck of the Prometheus. Wouldn’t they make a handsome couple? (Come to think of it, why are these genius space travellers all so physically attractive?) There’s a nice, incredibly vague quote from Ridley Scott on the side there – “fans of the original Alien will definitely notice some things”. God, why don’t you just RUIN it for us, Ridley?

And here’s Noomi, Michael and Logan hanging around looking like their heads have been stuck on. That’s weird. Those lights in their neck bits must make their necks hot. And is that blonde hair on Fassy? Someone’s been using the Sun-In!

These are kind of cool, we think. They look a bit photoshopped and don’t really give much away, and we’d like to see photos of the other peeps, like Patrick Wilson and Rafe Spall. But we admit it, we’re excited. The film is due for release next June.