Denzel Washington crashes onto DVD with the remake of the 1974 Taking of Pelham 123, also starring John Travolta in another of his couldn’t-care-less villain roles. What happened, John? You used to be cool, and you ain’t gonna get another gig like Pulp Fiction anytime soon. Sort it out. And lose some weight.

As much as we love to moan about the ‘too good to be true’ on-screen relationship, there exists something far worse; the utterly baffling on-screen relationship. From girls having sex with Death in Meet Joe Black to questionable sexual age politics in Big, we feel it’s time for these dodgy love affairs to be exposed for what they are; bloody weird.