We love films. Well, we love most of them. Some of them are only OK, and some of them we’d like to get our greasy paws on and re-cast and re-direct all together. Here are five of them, because ten would have gotten me over-excited and I’d never be able to settle for my nap otherwise.
Ah, Lady Gaga. God, I love her. It doesn’t matter where I go or whom I write for, she somehow manages to do something mad and become the ultimate hot topic for EVERYBODY. After showcasing her male alter ego, Joe Calderone, at the VMAs, it got us thinking about the topic of gender and we came to the conclusion that people’s response should be something along the lines of “gender, shmender!”. Possibly in a more eloquent fashion. To celebrate this, we’ve decided to look at our 10 favourite cross-dressing movies (basically proving that I’ll take any excuse to ogle Tim Curry in fishnets…)
As a rule, sellout films usually contain a colon and/or a number. We’re looking at you, Speed 2: Cruise Control. Yet, the definition of a ‘sellout’ is tricky, because producers are very good at making shit smell like roses, and before you know it you’re on the set of National Treasure: Book of Secrets. When you see a film and think, ‘what the devil is Globey McOscar doing in this?!’ we’ve got the three reasons behind their decision to sell their soul.
The heat is on to be the best gosh darn villain the world has ever seen. And when your competition is out nicking the Egyptian pyramids and other great wonders of the world, you know you’ve got to up your game. So Gru sorts himself out with the ultimate secret weapon in his grand master scheme; three orphan girls. And before you get the wrong idea, he doesn’t put them through an intensive training course and turn them into child soldiers, rather, he uses the power of cookie selling to get the ball a-rolling.
“The hills are alive with the sound of music”. Oh yes they are. But, the cast of The Sound of Music, whilst still living, have not been making sweet, sweet music together since the filming of the film in 1965. Hold onto your lederhosen and warm up your vocal chords as the Von-Trapp family singers are set to perform for the first time in 45 years.
What happens if you’re a minor league hockey player who’s had his dreams dashed one too many times? Julie Andrews will turn you into a tooth fairy, that’s what. For two weeks, Dwayne “Tooth Fairy” (sorry, “The Rock”) Johnson has to turn good guy and teach positivity sprinkled with fairy dust to a troubled family. This lightweight comedy is strictly for the kids, but you know what? Don’t be a hater, yo. The kids are alright.
If the results of Radio Times’ latest poll are anything to go by, men might actually descend from Mars and women may hail from Venus. The magazine’s quest to discover the nation’s favourite film sirens saw Ursula Andress top the list voted by men, with Audrey Hepburn triumphing in the women’s poll.