A Turtle’s Tale, the biography of a dismally boring chelonian who spends fifty years biffing around in the sea and then turns into John Hurt, has been billed as an adventure/thrillride/treat etc “for all the family”. Should you wish to protest this blatant lie, the Trading Standards Institute can be found here; nobody over the age of five will find any joy in Sammy’s aimless paddling, trite relationships and pious eco-preaching.

With his potentially disastrous “terrorist-comedy” Four Lions Chris Morris has managed to create a rare and beautiful thing – a film that, in my opinion, could not be improved. An unflinching attack on stupidity itself, his mastery of both comedy and tragedy is breathtaking to behold. Quite simply, a must-see.