‘Wait. What? What is, what is going on? Is that a robot? Oh. Hang on. They’re dancing now. And singing! Where did those ladies in bikinis come from? Oh my god! Is he – is he dead? This is so sad! And touching and – wait. Intermission?’ My brain, the whole way through this film.

Thank God for indicative beauty spots

HAMMER! Wait, who?

We can’t wait to peek behind the curtain of Old Hollywood…

Because the man who wrote My Super Ex-Girlfriend should definitely still be getting work.

Running across one hundred and thirty minutes of hammer-smashing 3D insanity, Thor is absolutely everything you want from a superhero film; big, beautiful and heroically over the top. And if the plot gets lost along the way, who really cares? On to Valhalla!

I DON’T KNOW WHAT WE’RE SHOUTING ABOUT

I don’t know about you, but we’re hoping for really crummy weather this summer. Rain, sleet, fog and whatever else God’s got in his “let’s piss them right off” bag; it’s the only way that we won’t feel guilty about spending the entire time at the cinema. A lot of heavy hitters are coming our way in summer 2011, so give up on your tan (lets be honest, you’ve been a lost cause from the start) and throw away any sunny specs that aren’t 3D compatible – it’s cinema summer checklist time.

Where Natalie Portman does a lot of running around with her mouth open.

In lieu of the first official trailer, we whet appetites with Thor’s first official poster.