Take a deep breath and prepare yourself for an exhaustive year of EPIC action films. 2012 is the official year of explosive sequels, daring superheroes and hardcore fairy tales. Just make sure you have an oxygen tank nearby.

An unfunny, contrived attempt at indie realism with a deeply questionable morality lesson as its core. Warning: this film is not the knockabout Kick-Ass style comedy that the trailer markets it to be, it is in fact much, much worse.

Since little Saoirse Ronan has come out all freckled and hard as nails in Hanna, it got us thinking about other kick-ass girl tweens that could give Bruce lee a good hiding. You don’t want to mess with any of these chicks. Not that you would. They’re not even real, man.

Let’s hear it for lesbian kisses, swearing children, hangnail ripping and other good clean fun.

But it’s not out for bloody ages.

At Cheat Sheet Villas (it’s a granny flat in the grounds of Best For Film Towers), we’re always on the lookout for stars with a less extravagant public profile than the Britneys and LiLos of the world; then we expose them and shamelessly drag all their secrets into the merciless light of day like squirming vampire children being torn from their coffins. This week, it’s the turn of screenwriter extraordinaire Jane Goldman!

The cult of Burton lures another willing victim…

Good decisions all round. Just about.

Every day it looks more like Kick-Ass but WE DON’T CARE

Crazy bitch Juliette Lewis gets back to her hillbilly, gun-toting role-roots, and it’s about damned time.