#10 You’re a Scientist… Resident Evil

Ooo look at me I’m a top scientist with a huge brain. With my huge brain I am under pressure to come up with a cure for cancer, a quick fix for scurvy, and a pill that will transform you into Superman. Ooo look, I got a bit too stressed, made a tiny mathmatical error, and instead created a zombie producing virus that has now been unleashed and has completely consumed the planet! Scientists, don’t watch this film. It will only add to your pressure and dammit, we want to live!

#9 You’re high up in a company… Disclosure

If you’re a big-wig executive, the world will assume you’re smart. Do you know what isn’t smart? Giving in to the sexual advances of your ex-girlfriend who has just started working with you, that’s what! Do yourself a favour, say no and run (even if she’s Demi Moore), before you find yourself in court for sexual harassment with your world falling down around you. It can happen. But watching this film will probably cause you to break out in an uncontrollable sweat if the opposite sex so much as looks at you. Then you’ll just look weird. And wet.

#8 You’re having an affair… Fatal Attraction

Don’t watch this for one reason – fear. Fear that your lover will pick up your daughter from school without you knowing. Fear that she’ll call you non-stop and start follwing you. Fear that she’ll kill your daughter’s bunny and leave it boiling on the stove, and fear that she’ll try and kill you and your wife, resulting in one of you having to kill her. Actually, if you’re THINKING of having an affair then by all means go ahead and view. Perfect way of keeping you pure.

#7 You’re a Boxer… Million Dollar Baby

She, like so many others, had a dream. She dreamt to be a world class athlete, the best female boxer there was. She had come from nothing and with training from Clint ‘if I squint any more I might lose my eyes but I can pull it off’ Eastwood, she made it! Only to get hit by a crazy, boxing psychopath on steriods, fall and break her neck on a chair, realise her career is over, and eventually die. Watch this if you don’t want to be a boxer, if you have no dreams, or if you have dreams but don’t mind them being shattered.

#6 You’re a Pilot… Snakes on a Plane

According to Superman, flying is the safest way to travel. However when you’re in a 200-foot aluminium tube, 30,000 feet in the air, with slimy little and large snakes that can trip a circuit or a hydraulic, which would then send you down faster than a Thai hooker, you might think a little differently. In order to avoid a mid-air heart attack due to your coincidental fear of snakes, forget this film exists, and maybe frame the Man of Steel’s words.

#5 You’re a Teacher (female)… Mean Girls

Unless you are teaching six and seven year-olds that can easily be scared into doing what you want, there’s no denying that imparting knowledge to the next generation is a tough gig (and a burden we at BFF bear every day). What makes it even worse is when you have a bunch of sixteen year old, tarty looking girls, who wear way too much make-up, describe everything as ‘fetch’ and have a Burn Book which spreads the rumour that you sell drugs to children. Worldwide teachers, do not watch unless you are happy living a life full of paranoia.

#4 You’re an Astronaut… Deep Impact

All you ever dreamed about since you were a child was being an astronaut. You wanted to see the stars, step on the moon and float around in rooms minus gravity. Little did you know that amongst the amazing views and powdery food, your planet would call on your expertise to save it from a life-destroying meteor. And not only do you end up having to sacrifice yourself, but you didn’t even 100% succeed. Deep Impact may put you off your future space expeditions due to recurring dreams of Earth’s impending doom.

#3 You’re a Doctor… Pathology

So you’re a doctor, good for you. You save people’s lives on a daily basis (arguably sacrificing your own due to ridiculously long hours but you don’t care), and look you now have a bunch of medical students who, like you, strive to be the unsung heros of the world. But wait a minute, did you hear that right? Your med students are actually deranged and sadistic and are involved in a game to see who can come up with the most undetectable murder? And you might be next? Yeah, you did hear right. This film might make those 36 hour shifts go by very, very slowly.

#2 You’re a Soldier… Brothers

Upon going into the army you might like to think that you are fully aware and ready for the dangers and experiences that lie ahead. But nothing can prepare you for being captured by the ememy, knowing that no-one knows you’re alive, and being forced to beat to death your best friend – which in turn leads you to have a psychotic breakdown which is not helped by the knowledge that your wife kissed your brother. Though sometimes it’s best not to think about these things. We’re just saying.

#1 You’re a Parent… Taken

Being a parent is stressful and worrying – your kids won’t do as they’re told, they break curfew, they don’t tell you where they’re going, they make your life hell. Imagine then if you are exposed to two hours of film about someone’s daughter innocently going on holiday with a friend, only to be kidnapped, drugged up and sold as a prostitute somewhere in Europe! Quick honey, put the bars on their windows, they’re not going anywhere… this is no way to live.

Here at Best For Film we want to dispel the illusion that all sports movies are cliché-ridden drivel. Because we think actually there are some quite good movies based on sport, even for those of you who don’t like it. You just have to think outside the box, employ some amazing actors (preferably Clint and/or Morgan) and bingo- the riddle is solved.

Award winning sports films
Boxing leads the way for sports movies, being the only genre that generates Oscar buzz and actually goes home with the little gold statues. From Rocky back in the day, through to Million Dollar Baby, Cinderella Man and now The Fighter, boxing seems to have a wider appeal than many sports. Is it due to its protagonist being one person as opposed to a whole team of clodhoppers? Or just that everyone deep down is fascinated with the concept of people who get punched in the face voluntarily?

Take Million Dollar Baby. Hillary Swank excels as trailer park trash who turns her life around to become a pro boxer. Everyone can identify with the theme of trying to better yourself, just none of us lazy bones would have the balls to turn ourselves into a lean mean fighting machine. That Swank does this commands respect, and then the plot twists at the end wrench your heart strings until they break. The sport merely acts as a vehicle through which we get to see one woman’s courage and determination. And boxing is the sport to do this because it is the most physically punishing and as such, the most compelling to watch.

See also: Ali, The Blind Side

Bonkers sports films
Everyone has a secret dirty love for Cool Runnings, about the Jamaican sprinters who decided to compete at the Winter Olympics in the four man Bob. It is crazy from start to finish- and based on a true story. Then there is Blackball, the film that put bowls on the cinematic map. Surprisingly yet to spawn many spin-offs and copies, but brilliant nonetheless. And while we are on this bonkers subject, Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story and Whip It (the Drew Barrymore film, not Willow Smith’s freakily successful single) are both based on sports that might not be mainstream but are hilariously funny to the point of not being able to breathe.

Ridiculously mad sports film succeed because they act as comedies with a different backdrop. Plus, somehow it is easier to watch a sport of which you have no pre conceived notions. Standing out from the crowd and admitting a liking for curling seems diffident and cool, droning on about footy is dull and repetitive. These films have an edge- quirky yet tame (we are still in the realms of sport after all), they fill the Withnail and I canon for the lycra clad.

See also: A Knight’s Tale, Surfs Up, Balls of Fury, Racing Stripes

Thinking sport films
Sometimes, the sport isn’t enough. The dramatic tense moments must run parallel to other themes, culminating in a spectacular set piece, normally on a field/track/in a ring (delete as appropriate). In Invictus, we had the backdrop of Nelson Mandela being released from prison, post-apartheid South Africa and then- boom! the Rugby World Cup. Similarly, The Wrestler is a story of one man’s quest to right his life, against a longing for the ring that ultimately leads to his downfall. Although this one is slightly different- as the backdrop is more the redemption of Mickey Rourke the actor as opposed to what is going on in the film.

Either way, both these films excel in balancing athletic antics with the more mundane but important real world. Plus, with Invictus being a true story, and The Wrestler leaning heavily on the career of one Hulk Hogan, they both have that spine chilling sense of the inevitable that can only be obtained from movies that you know could come true. Or did.

See also: Chariots of Fire, Seabiscuit

Terrible sports films that are so bad, they become classics
Kevin Costner could have his very own subcategory here. Field of Dreams is now a cult (ish) classic, even though it is about a man who hears voices and is frankly a bit boring despite his ability to converse with long dead baseball players. He liked his baseball did Costner, starring in For The Love Of The Game, which was nowhere near as thought provoking as his first foray into sports movies. But please don’t mention Tin Cup- wrong on every level. If there is one sport that doesn’t translate onto the big screen, it is golf.

Terrible films work because either the sport is so ludicrous you have to believe that no one could make this up, or because they deliver such a curveball, you like them for not being mundane. The Mighty Ducks has Emilio Esteviz in it, coaching peewee ice hockey players with attitude problems. A few shaving cream gags aside, Esteviz sells the fact he does not want to be there so well that we can’t help but watch in a sadistic gleeful manner as he is forced to coach a bunch of delinquents. Truly terrible, but so compelling to watch.

See also: A League Of Their Own, The Longest Yard, The Flying Scotsman

So, it turns out sports movies aren’t as bad as they are perceived to be after all. Yes there are some shockers -no-one would ever suggest you go and watch Goal!- but there are actually quite a lot of very well made films too (and a bunch of Oscar winners to boot). So next time, do not hide your copy of Field of Dreams behind the bookcase. Sports films are becoming a genre in their own right, and a respected one at that.

Natalie Portman

Portman is no stranger to sacrificing a celebrity defining ‘image’ for the sake of a role.V for Vendetta saw the screen beauty shave her hair off and pick up a British accent (she must have left it behind with the hair), but she’d apparently “looked forward” to the shaving. Nutter. Not much of a sacrifice then was it?

But no one can dispute Portman’s dedication to Black Swan. A year before filming began on the project (the script itself hadn’t even been finished), Portman was training for two hours a day with her ballet teacher Mary Helen Bowers. After 6 months, they threw in a mile’s worth of swimming a day, apparently to achieve the required adjustment to the curvature of her spine for the role. Mental. Two months before the filming began, the choreography was added to her training regime, upping her overall work hours to an impressive 8 hours a day (just think, working 8 hours a day… the mind boggles). 15 minutes of each day was given over to a single toe exercise to strengthen the muscles between her toes before she started going en pointe. You’d have thought they could just film her above the ankle but oooh no.

Whilst not appearing overly flabby before the role, Portman apparently lost 20lbs of weight during the training and filming process thanks to her vegan diet and small portion sizes. It’s now quite understandable where she found her maddening instability for the role – she must have been gagging for a sausage roll at some point. Will it have been enough for her to finally get her hands on that all elusive Oscar?

Christian Bale

The true heavy weight of bodily sacrifices, Christian Bale has taken on some pretty extreme roles in his time. To gain insight into the scope of Bale’s commitment, we must begin with a realisation of Bale’s budging physique in American Psycho. It’s not too hard a life if you’re role sees you get paid an extraordinary amount of money to work out, and eat food and weight gain supplements like there’s no tomorrow. But you’ve got to say, Bale went to TOWN on filling the role.

After American Psycho‘s requirements to fill his belly with a bag of rocks in 2000, Bale meandered through several fairly demanding physical roles (Equilibrium and Reign of Fire certainly involved a lot of running around looking intense) before doing something of a U-turn in 2004. The Machinist was Bale’s chance to show that he was more than just a 6 pack and pecks:
“People start just going ‘oh yeah, that guy’s a real workout fanatic,’ and that’s not me, that’s Patrick Bateman. It was a nice way to kill that dead by just destroying your body completely.”

Bale reportedly dropped his weight from 173lbs (78 Kg) to a shocking 110lbs (50 Kg) in order to get into the skin of character Trevor Reznik. Supposedly, Bale wanted to drop a down to a nice round 100 pound weight, but the producers were worried he might die, and that wasn’t good for their insurance. To lose the weight, Bale took up a diet consisting of a tin of tuna and one apple a day (the same diet intake of Paris Hilton. Minus the copious amounts of sperm).

But that’s not the end of Bale’s ever changing build. After his performance as the corpse-a-like Reznik, within a year he had buffed up again for Batman Begins. Speaking to IGN, Bale plucks the heart strings when telling us, “I couldn’t do one push up the first day. All of the muscles were gone, so that was a real tough time of rebuilding all of that. But you have a deadline, you have an obligation.” Bless him.

Hilary Swank

Hilary Swank wasn’t that well known for her film roles before 1999. She’d made her name playing Carly Reynolds in the original series of 90210 (yes kids, the new one is based on an old one that’s just as pointlessly dull). But then she was offered the part of Brandon Teena in Boys Don’t Cry and BANG. There’s not a formula for winning an Oscar, but I’d say that a pretty good one is to get a fairly decent actress to play a boy pretty darn well (She’s the Man doesn’t get a look in since Amanda Bynes isn’t an actress, she’s a waste of money).

But that’s not the only way to win an Oscar. Take an averaged sized woman who knows nothing about boxing, get her to box for two and a half hours a day, six days a week for around five months and gain 19 pounds of muscle, and stick it on camera. Swank deservedly won another Oscar for her tummy transforming role of Maggie Fitzgerald in the highly praised Million Dollar Baby, which saw her not only change her physique for the role – she came over all manly as well: “I learned that it is so much more than anything physical… I say that because when you’re in the ring, you’re one with this person. Everything goes silent and it’s you and that person. You hear your breath. You hear the other person. And each person that you spar with or fight with, their strength and weakness brings out new strength and weakness in yourself.” Whatever Hilary. Chill out. It’s only a game.

Rooney Mara

A yet to be fully realised transformation, but given that Rooney has played a fairly sweet and beautiful thing in the likes of A Nightmare on Elm Street and The Social Network, it’s fair to say that her body destroying day of preparation for the up coming remake of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo deserves notice. Can you imaging having your eyebrows bleached, hair chopped, and lip, brow, nose, and nipple pierced in one day? I for one know my mum wouldn’t let me in the house.

Putting on the pounds

Whilst the weight we’ve covered has either been lost or gained in muscle toning, it’s worth mentioning a couple of starlets for breaking the rules of Hollywood to go plump for camera. Fergie (the terrifying woman from the Black Eyed Peas) gained 8Kg (near enough a stone) for her dirty-whore of a role in Nine, whilst Renée Zellweger put on 11Kg for her spot-light-filling role of everyone’s (so long as own a cat and hate men) favourite ordinary girl, Bridget Jones. Yes, they changed their waist line for the role, but lets be honest, anyone can say “yes” to one more cream cake.

Who else do you feel deserves a mention for battering their body to fulfil a role? Give us a shout below!

30. Into The Wild (2007)

Sean Penn directs Into The Wild, the incredible tale of Christopher McCandless who, having given up his worldly possessions and his family’s expectations, hikes his way to Alaska in search of himself. Based on true events, the film creates a fantastic sense of awe and inspiration as Chris draws closer to his goal; interlaced with poetic beauty and true sadness. Emile Hirsch, in the lead, definitely proves his acting calibre as his portrayal wrenches at the heartstrings.

Best Part: “…how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong, but to feel strong.” Epic!

29. Wall-E (2008)

There haven’t been too many animated films in the last decade that can say they come close to the Disney classics. To put that in context, films like the Lion King or Little Mermaid were classics because of the underlying message each of them carried. Invariably animated films now will focus on humour alone, not a bad thing, but for those of a Disney generation we want a little more. Enter Wall-E. Incredibly funny, seriously witty and best of all – endearing. The message is clear even without something silly like dialogue.

Best Part: Wall E finally getting to hold hands with someone.

28. Children of Men (2006)

Films have always enjoyed portraying a grim future for humanity. None grimmer than Children of Men. In the year 2027, Mankind has lost the ability to reproduce, more the conception part than the naughty part thank goodness, and humanity can look forward to fading away into the dust. But wait, Clive Owen will save us! Brilliantly filmed, excellent cast and top class story.

Best Part: The opening sequence – filming ingenuity at its best!

27. 25^th Hour (2002)

Not many film makers had the guts to use 9/11 as a backdrop so soon after the event. And to do it properly. Spike Lee wasn’t too concerned as far as I can see but that’s because he had a great story to tell and he told it in great fashion. 25th Hour details the last “free day” of a convicted drug dealer before going to prison and is situated in a post 9/11 New York. Edward Norton, supported by Rosario Dawson, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Brian Cox, Anna Paquin and Barry Pepper, rides at the helm and delivers a performance that conjures both sympathy and anger, and ties in the rest of the film perfectly depicting the entire scope of life New York has to offer.

Best Part: Norton’s rant in the bathroom.

26. The Last King of Scotland (2006)

Forest Whitaker may have been John Travolta’s mate in Phenomenon and in *cringe* Battlefield Earth, but he wasn’t anyone’s pal in the role that has now truly defined him; as Idi Amin in The Last King of Scotland. The film, along with Whitaker’s portrayal of Amin, is scary and shocking – provoking nausea and intrigue simultaneously. Not a film for those with a weak stomach nor squeamish, but definitely one that will be remembered as a look into a particularly dark chapter of Africa.

Best Part: Whitaker’s dialogue with McAvoy at the airport shop.

25. Snatch (2000)

“Ya like dags?!” Oh yes of course, you’re talking about dogs. Guy Ritchie’s classic British gangster film that looks at the seedy underbelly of unlicensed boxing, mobsters, an un-killable Russian, a diamond and Brad Pitt beating the hell of of people. Still his best work. Still an absolute classic.

Best Part: “All he’s gotta do, is stay down. [Pitt smashes opponents face]. Now, we are f*****.”

24. Sunshine (2007)

Definitely the most underrated scifi film of the decade, Sunshine is one of Oscar-winning director Danny Boyle’s finest films. It follows the crew of the Icarus 2 as they make their way toward our dying Sun, in the hopes of being able to restart the fading star with a miniature Big Bang. Extremely intriguing and possessing some of the most tragically beautiful moments, the film sucks you in like a black hole and spits you out like a supernova.

Best Part: Capa’s jump – goosebumps!

23. In Bruges (2008)

Essentially one of the funniest and darkest films with an existential twist. Ray (Colin Farrel) and Ken (Brendan Gleeson) are two British hitmen laying low in the Belgian town of Bruge following Ray’s botched first job. Along their path they meet a racist dwarf, some manky hookers, the hot french girl from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and Ralph Fiennes. In his funniest role to date. The film is excellent in portraying each character uniquely and offers some of the most hilarious dialogue ever – and manages to comment on existence. Cheers!

Best Part: “You’re an inanimate f****** object!”

22.V for Vendetta (2006)

The creators of The Matrix, the Wachowski Brothers, had a lot to make up for after putting the second and third films on screen. Even though featuring epic action. But they certainly delivered as the writing pair behind V For Vendetta. The film is brilliant, hinting at John Hurt’s previous role in 1984, and depicts a Britain firmly under the boot of tyrannical law. Scarred by the acts of the terrible government, V (Hugo Weaving) sets out to right the wrongs in this world of Big Brother with the help of a bald, but still very sexy, Natalie Portman.

Best Part: V introducing himself.

21. The Last Samurai (2003)

If you, like me, grew up knowing that the only thing almost as awesome as Batman were samurai, you sat around for a long time waiting for a film even to come close to Seven Samurai. Incredibly it came in the form of Tom Cruise. The Last Samurai gave audiences a colourful and rich glimpse into the world of the rising sun, and into the lives of the samurai. From their drastic opinions about defeat, to the raging torrent of emotions lying just under the surface – the film was accessible and immersing, pretty much everything you want from an epic.

Best Part: Katsumoto finding the perfect cherry blossom.

20. Batman Begins (2005)

See, I told you. Samurai are almost as awesome as Batman. Try then, if it isn’t too much, Batman… and Ninjas. Batman Begins showed the world who Bruce Wayne truly is and what makes him tick. Taking a realist and gritty angle to the series, director Christopher Nolan won over fans in their droves with this great adaptation and started one of the most successful franchises in cinema history. With The Dark Knight Rises just around the corner, you can’t miss out on this one.

Best Part: Bale’s training on the frozen lake with Neeson.

19. Little Miss Sunshine (2006)

Little Miss Sunshine is offbeat at best. Maybe even too quirky. But that doesn’t stop this film from being one of the funniest and most endearing of the last ten years. A family of misfits, including suicidal Steve Carrel and inappropriate Gran-dad Alan Arkin, travels across country to attend a junior beauty pageant and along the way each must deal with their personal problems. Hugely entertaining and surprisingly meaningful, Little Miss Sunshine is fantastic.

Best Part: The dancing at the end.

18. Reqieum for a Dream (2000)

Few films can manage to capture gross interest while at the same time provoke incredible feelings of discomfort. Darren “The-Fountain-Was-Awesome-Too” Aronofsky’s Requiem for a Dream takes your brain, slides it along a line of heroin before bashing it into the wall. In a good way. Although the two might be the same thing anyway. The story follows four people, sexy Jennifer Connelly and legend Jared Leto among them, and the addictions they struggle with, from drugs to vanity to television shows – and culminates in possibly one of the grimmest endings to a film ever. Makes The Wrestler look like a family film.

Best Part: The ending hip-hop montage.

17. District 9 (2009)

As a South African, I take pride in the fact that I like prawns. They’re great to eat, useful when fishing and fantastic when in an argument with an Australian. Got another shrimp there Bruce? But my views on prawns changed substantially after watching District 9. I realized that prawns were people too. District 9 is a fantastic scifi film in its own right, but also in terms of what its trying to comment on. Apartheid South Africa, the bouts of xenophobia in recent years, Wikus van der Merwe (Shartlo Copley) and his “fokken” prawns are memorable and entertaining due to both message and performance.

Best Part: “Fokken prawns!” and because my mate Neale says it so well “No it’s katfood!”

16. Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (2009)

The late Stieg Larsson and his Millennium Trilogy have captured audiences from around the world. The story of Lisbeth Salander is just too engaging not to. And The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo is by far the best film of the three, the third having just been released here in the UK, and the most powerful in terms of Larsson’s writing. It’s worth mentioning that the novels, and films, have a grounding in reality as Larsson wrote them with a real life Lisbeth in mind, who was a victim of rape. Gritty and hard, intricate and absorbing, the story of Lisbeth (Noomi Rapace) and Mikael (Michael Nyqvist) is one you can’t tear your eyes away from.

Best Part: Lisbeth getting payback as she tattoos her “guardian”.

15. Gladiator (2000)

“There was a dream that was Rome. It shall be realized. These are the wishes of Marcus Aurelius.” You know what that is? That’s what I tell myself whenever I need to psych myself up for running after the bus when I’m late. It also happens to be one of the best lines in film to date. Gladiator, by director Ridley Scott, depicts Maximus, former general of the Empire of Rome, and his rise to fame in the Colosseum. He tackles tigers, fellow gladiators and ultimately – the emperor who destroyed his life. Russel Crowe is brilliantly powerful in probably his most famous role and commands attention on screen. Not that he had to worry; he had me sold after chopping the piggy-gladiator’s head off before shouting “Are you not entertained?!” Why yes actually Mr. Crowe I am, thank you for asking.

Best Part: Maximus getting his vengance – in this life and not the next.

14. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

Enchanting is the word that springs to mind when thinking about Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Director Ang Lee’s film catches the eye with epic scenery and an engrossing story, and tantalizes the brain at the sheer awesome nature of the fight scenes. While some people now days might criticize it for being a little over the top in terms of the characters jumping around and flying through trees, that magical quality is kind of what makes it so special. And makes me jealous as well.

Best Part: Every fight scene. And Ziyi Zhang.

13.Million Dollar Baby (2004)

Remember The Next Karate Kid? Hilary Swank played the lead in that, and did the cool kick thingy from big rock to small rock. Yeah now you remember! Well take that, multiply it by the amount of muscle she picked up for Million Dollar Baby, and you’ll have the exact value of great this film is. Clint Eastwood’s dynamic masterpiece shows off the female boxing world in all its glory and grit. Swank puts in the performance of a lifetime, for which she won an Oscar, and the heart numbing ending is enough to send even the hardest of viewers to the deck.

Best Part: Seeing Swank fight her way into Eastwood’s respect.

12.Donnie Darko (2001)

Ever had a trippy experience? And by that I mean have you ever been punched in the brain by something you’ve seen unfold in front of you? Well if you haven’t, watch Donnie Darko. Unless you’re still recovering from Requiem for a Dream, then maybe wait a bit before you do. Donnie Darko (Jake Gyllenhaal) and his imaginary friend Frank, the giant bunny rabbit, take you on a ride unlike any other through the suburban world of time travel, portals and existentialism. It might not be up everyone’s alley, but the unique nature of the film is more than enough to warrant it as one of the best films of the decade.

Best Part: [Donnie]: “Why do you wear that stupid bunny suit?” [Frank]: “Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?”

11. Inception (2010)

Okay, I’m going to be honest. I saw Inception at the cinema five times. Not in the UK mind you, I’m not made of money. The reason I saw it five times is well…it’s quite possibly my favourite movie of all time. The only reason it isn’t higher on this list is because Christopher Nolan has two others here already and I didn’t want to seem like I was stalking him. Read your mail Chris, it smells of me. *Cough* my apologies. Inception is a masterpiece of creativity, exquisite filming and killer performances. The thought of being able to break into someone’s mind and plant an idea is awesome and the many clever sequences within the dream are gorgeous. References to Tolstoy, mythology and Nolan giving the audience the choice of choosing a desired ending – I can’t think of anything about Inception that isn’t great.

Best Part: “Paradox”. And the “kick” Ariadne rides at the end.

10. Inglorious Basterds (2009)

While not historically accurate in many ways, Inglorious Basterds is definitely the best film depicting WWII in the last ten years. A la Tarantino no less. Brad Pitt and his basterds ravage through Nazi Germany, scalping soldiers and in general causing havoc for the Third Reich. Much to Hitler’s displeasure of course. The film is hilarious and dark, and contains possibly one of the most intimidating performances by an actor to date in the form of Christoph Waltz. Just watch the opening sequence and wait for Tarantino to go close up on him as he completely changes from the charming officer to devilishly great hunter. So good!

Best Part: Christoph Waltz. And quite possibly the best line in cinema “Say aufwiedersehen to your Nazi balls”.

9. Pan’s Labyrinth (2006)

Pan’s Labyrinth is something different. Something refreshing really. Something awesome. Ofelia (Ivana Baquero) plays a young girl who finds herself entangled with a mystical world during the 1940′s. Her innocent imagination is starkly portrayed in contrast to some of the grim natures of the other world and it’s something that makes the film so special. It’s an adult film with a classic children’s book feeling. Besides that, its incredibly well shot and the imagery used is impeccably poignant. It might be a little creepy at times, but its awesome from start to end.

Best Part: Ofelia finding…nah too many spoilers – let’s just say the ending.

8. The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button (2008)

Imagine living your life backwards. Being born old and then ageing back to youth – it would probably rank right up there with weirdest experience of the week. Fortunately you can see the incredible story behind such a person in The Curios Case of Benjamin Button. Cate Blanchett and Brad Pitt star in this feature, directed by David Fincher, yeah the legend himself, and is an absolute stroke of genius. I didn’t particularly find the story to be the impressive part, it was how it all panned out on screen that made it memorable. Watching Benjamin (Pitt) as a young “old” man turn into this old “young” boy was very vivid and so visually perfect you have to see it to understand.

Best Part: Seeing poor “old” Benjamin wanting to play in the retirement home.

7. Up (2009)

I rented Up to watch with my parents, another riveting Friday night really, because I’d heard it was really funny. What I didn’t realize was that I was about to watch quite possibly one of the most touching films ever. From the outset its quite clear that while it’s intended to appeal to children, the brunt of Up‘s message is really only aimed at adults. It follows Carl Fredricksen (Edward Asner) and his lifelong dream of journeying to South America, on which he picks up unlikely companions in a boy scout, a talking dog and a big-ass bird. Completely beautiful and epically memorable!

Best Part: Every time the dog speaks and the incredibly heartfelt first opening sequence.

6. Slumdog Millionaire (2008)

Having already touched on the genius that is Danny Boyle with Sunshine – here is his second of the list. Slumdog Millionaire. The public reception of this film, which was freaking huge, is testament to what a great film it is. Jamal (Dev Patel) is in the hot seat on India’s version of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? and he’s doing a fantastic job as well, but how? The film details his harsh experiences growing up, ultimately helping him with each question in the show, and forming the backbone to this, essentially, romantic love story. The success and greatness of the film wouldn’t have been possible without a terrific story and Slumdog Millionare is watertight.

Best Part: “D.  It Is Written”

5. How to Train Your Dragon (2010)

Coming in at the highest spot for an animated film is How To Train Your Dragon. Why? Because it’s awesome, that’s why. Meet Hiccup (Jay Baruchel), the only Viking not to be built like a brick outhouse, who because of his diminutive size and ability to create disaster has been asked not to kill dragons like the rest of his village. However, using his ingenuity, he manages to catch the fearsome Night Fury but he immediately realizes he doesn’t want to kill dragons like the rest of his colleagues. After freeing Toothless, and helping him fly again, Hiccup and his dragon become pals, winning the girl and saving the day. But don’t let the simplicity of that statement make you think this film is straightforward. It has a superb message and burrows its way into your heart like only a dragon and his plight could do.

Best Part: Toothless and Hiccup flying together for the first time.

4. Harry Potter

It’s difficult to put down which of the Harry Potter‘s is best. They’re all good, especially the darker ones, but rather than try I’m just going to slap the entire series down. Which has now close on spanned ten years. Multiple directors, characters that have changed from annoying little kids into hardcore charm throwing wizards and witches, just the amount of time and effort put into creating these adaptations makes it worthy of recognition. To top it all off, they’re pretty cool movies too. No matter who you are, what you enjoy – Harry Potter is entertaining. Something a lot of films forget they need to be.

Best Part: Far too many, but most notably – Harry using Petronas Charm to save Sirius, Voldemort and Dumbledore fighting at the Ministry of Magic, Dumbledore throwing fire around after nibbling the Horcrux. Oh and Emma Watson.

3. Lord of the Rings

I don’t think there has or will ever be a fantasy series as engrossing as The Lord of the Rings. Yes you might say that it fits into a far too specific niche to be so high on the list but just like Harry Potter, you’re doomed to enjoy it. You might even say you’re…Mount Doomed. *Raucous laugher*. Genius. And even if Hobbits aren’t your thing, it was filmed with the huge potential for disaster, it could have become the flop of the ages if done incorrectly, it nevertheless stunned audiences for its immersing atmosphere and tremendous story.

Best Part: Fellowship: Arwen and Aragorn on the bridge in Rivendell. Two Towers: Gandalf and Eomer’s charge. Return of the King: Gollumn the “ever-annoying” burning in Mt. Doom.

2.The Dark Knight (2008)

Coming in at number 2 is The Dark Knight. The best justification I can give you for that is well…it’s The Dark Knight. It made over a billion dollars at the box office and remains to this day one of the greatest films, not only of the last decade, of all time. It has everything, a great story, terrific cast, an awesome director – just absolutely everything. Including the late Heath “The Joker” Ledger’s incredible performance, which I might add, is possibly one of the most frightening and legendary depictions of any character to date. From the first five minutes of the film, it’s clear whose leading the charge and Ledger doesn’t drop the tempo for one second; you’re terrified yet completely captivated and sitting patiently for him to do something. With a pencil or without one. I have no doubt that everyone who saw The Dark Knight will never forgot the chill that ran along their spines when the Joker films the “Batman”. LOOK – AT – ME! Gah, just got a bout of goosebumps thinking about it.

Best Part: “How bout a magic trick?”

And the Number One Film of the Decade is…

1.Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

Does that shock you? It does?! How dare you! Well if you’ve seen the film you’re probably not too surprised. If you haven’t, once you’re done reading this, go out and rent it. You won’t be disappointed. Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet form the leads in this, the number one film of the decade, and play a couple who have their respective memories of each other erased in the wake of their relationship failing and their inability to deal with it. We’re taken on a ride through Joel’s (Carrey) consciousness as he then tries to fight off and escape the deletion of his memories, realizing he actually truly treasures them. I know that might sound corny, even a little far fetched, but the way this is shown is excellent and highly artistic; making Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind ultimately immensely beautiful and unforgettable.

Best Part: Joel and Clementine’s dialogue in the crumbling beach house.

And that’s that! The decade has flown by with hundreds of movies whizzing past into the annuals of cinema history. Stories of love and horror, tales of heroes and heroines, nobles and beggars, worlds far beyond imagination and gritty streets found everywhere – the Top 30 Films of the Decade, the first of the new millennium, you’re awesome and you always will be!

Freeman, who won the Best Supporting Actor gong in 2005 for his role in Million Dollar Baby, has received a further four nominations since 1989. He also holds the informal ‘Everyone Wants Me To Narrate Their Life’ award, with his nerve-tinglingly husky voiceovers forming much of the background to our collective childhoods.

Freeman is perhaps best known for his role in The Shawshank Redemption, but has taken on a wide variety of challenging characters including Nelson Mandela (Invictus) and God (Bruce Almighty). He also stars in forthcoming action thriller RED, which will see him star opposite Bruce Willis, John Malkovich and Dame Helen Mirren. We know, it sounds too cool for words.

The AFI’s Life Achievement Award is one of the highest accolades which an American actor can receive, and Freeman is only its fortieth recipient. We’re very pleased for him. *applause*

Eastwood plays Walt Kowalski, a gun-toting, hard-drinking ex-auto plant worker whose wife has just passed away and whose family regards him as a slightly insane inconvenience. To make matters worse, his formerly blue-collar, all-white neighbourhood is being overrun with Asian immigrants, which doesn’t bode well for the old fella’s rampant racism. His only joy in life comes from the 1972 Gran Torino he keeps locked in his garage and polishes nightly, and when his young Hmong neighbour Thao (Bee Van) attempts to steal the car in a botched gang initiation rite, Walt, in typical Eastwood fashion, unleashes hell. It’s only the gutsy, smartmouth efforts of his sister Sue (Ahney Her) that convinces Walt to give Thao and his family a chance, allowing the boy to do daily chores for him to make up for his crime. Slowly, an unlikely bond grows between the shy Thao and his hardened shell of a neighbour, and in Million Dollar Baby-esque scenes, allows a sequence of events to play out that will change all of their lives.

As we’ve come to expect from such a distinguished veteran, Eastwood gives a hell of a performance here, not letting the somewhat awkward fact he’s directing himself matter one iota. From his rasping growl of a voice to his no-bull one-liners, his portrayal of a world-hardened man on the edge is so spot-on, it makes the Gerard Butler and Mel Gibson man-on-a-revenge-mission thrillers of today look utterly laughable (if they didn’t before). But there’s always enough weariness and sadness behind the anger that he’s never playing just a caricature – you can see and understand how he got this way, and why he finds himself adrift in this new world.

Gran Torino isn’t perhaps one of those films you’d rush out to buy, but it’s one of those that creeps up on you, quite unexpectedly and quite beautifully, and that you’ll find it awfully hard to let go of as the credits roll up. And if you’re an Eastwood fan, it’s a must-see.

Special Features

Manning the Wheel: The making of manhood as reflected in America car culture

Gran Torino: More Than a Car: Visit Detroit and the Woodward Dream Cruise, an annual vintage car event where buffs describe the unique bond between men and vehicles