Bases: covered.

Let’s hear it for lesbian kisses, swearing children, hangnail ripping and other good clean fun.

Double-team style.

Two households, both alike in dignity/ In fair Verona, where we lay our scene/ From ancient grudge break to new mutiny/ Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean/ From forth the fatal loins of these two foes/ A pair of star-cross’d GNOMES IT’S ALL BLOODY GNOMES AAARGH.

Alex Winter, who played Bill in ‘Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure’, has confirmed that a third instalment is in the works.

Whether the news makes you want to rejoice or reach for the scotch, it looks like Anchorman 2 is becoming an unstoppable force – with most of the original cast ready to jump back aboard.

A shagadelic bit of news? Or is it as tired as Austin’s sex jokes? We’re not even sure what we’re feeling about this so far, but we have to admit, we’re intrigued. According to Jay Roach, the director of all three Austin outings, the time may have come for the International Man Of Mystery to don those glasses once more.

Orlando Bloom has revealed that – in an alarmingly sensible move – he won’t be reprising his role as Will Turner in the fourth Pirates Of The Caribbean film.

Watching Gamer is a bit like trying to play Grant Theft Auto when drunk; you know very vaguely that there’s a story you should care about, but all that really matters is that things are getting blown up, big style. If there was a coherent point to Gamer, we couldn’t find it.

We don’t know about you, but we felt the first two Jackass films left a lot of loose ends. Thank goodness then that Jackass 3 is soon to begin filming.