Going to the cinema can be a frustrating experience – not least because of the disproportionate number of mouth-breathers championing drivel, but also thanks to the shocking lack of choice on offer. How many times must my eyes be popped? Since when was randomness any substitute for jokes? Will Spider-Man ever get past the third instalment? I explore the six fads currently crippling cinema.

Unless it’s going to star Charlie Sheen, we couldn’t be more bored.

Godzilla vs. MicroBudgetGodzilla!

The Buffy reboot is happening, and while we think this bites the time has come (I think there was a memo) to give up on objectivity. As such, may I present Best or Film’s completely subjective guide to who might make a half-decent vampire slayer. Should you be a true Whedonite the following list will seem insane, controversial and completely without fruit. The harsh reality is, however, Natalie Portman is probably busy and Megan Fox is a much likelier choice even if she wasn’t, anyway. It’s like a whole big sucking thing, and this is the best we could do.

The Wrestler and Black Swan director may take up the reins for Robocop’s future. If there is one.

A recent Vulture interview with Armie Hammer may have unearthed some more clues about the direction our favourite Kryptonian will be flying in. Could this be the good news that Jon Hamm has been waiting for?

Zack Snyder has been confirmed to direct Warner Bros.’ upcoming Superman reboot, The Man of Steel. Can he bring the character to a new audience?

Everyone knows that Jason Voorhees doesn’t stay dead for long, but could his reign of terror finally be coming to an end, after just 12 films of slasher-based mayhem? The producer of Friday the 13th, the 2009 reboot of the series, Brad Fuller, says that there’s no plans at the moment to make a Friday the 13th 2. “It is dead. Not happening” he said on Twitter when asked about the sequel’s progress by an eager fan.

Before you all start huffing and puffing and weeping and setting things on fire, just calm down a second. This isn’t so much news as it is speculation. It has emerged today that Percy Jackson aka Logan Lurman has begun “talks” with Spidey producers Columbia Pictures. Word on the street is that he’s being considered for the main role in the Spiderman reboot. And we all know what you’re thinking. Who in bananas is Logan Lurman?