Paul WS Anderson, are you reading this? We know where you live, and we’re going to force-feed you literature until you cry like a mewling baby girl.
We can all think of a video game that somehow, beyond all sense and rationality, made it from the little screen to the big, and we usually wince when we recall them. The list of films based on video games is arguably one of the most excruciating compilations of film fails. So why do people keep on trying? And why do they always suck?
It’s the fourth installment in the Resident Evil franchise and IT’S IN 3D! Alice is back to kick-ass and not even the removal of her powers is going to get her to calm down. Ain’t nothing going to hold this girl down. Evil corporation, mneh. Zombies, puh-lease. The traitorous living, move over, girlfriend! Unfortunatley, even in the spirit of “GIRL POWER”, there is not much to this film aside from guns, the undead and women fighting the undead. With guns. Which I guess is pretty standard for a computer game.
Well, it’s pretty hard to argue with the stats. Resident Evil: The Afterlife opened at the number one spot in the US, even though reviews all around have been pretty lukewarm. The makers have taken this as indication that the world is baying for more Resident Evil action, and have confirmed that number 5 will be getting made. Whoopee.
Space travel has always been an inexhaustable topic for film-makers, but upon watching Pandorum, you can’t help but feel like you’ve seen everything it has to offer before. And you’ve seen it done better. Though it’s made by the same guys who brought us Resident Evil, this film lacks any real originality and it’s consistantly dark and moody shots are more likely to leave you with eye-damage than anything else.