In the immortal words of Noddy Holder, “IT’S CHRIIISSSSSTTTMAAAAASSS!!”. Well, not quite yet. But it is the first day of December today (we don’t miss a trick here at BFF). And to celebrate, we bring you the top ten films that sound as though they should be about Christmas but really, really aren’t. Luckily, we’ve reinvented all these titles to make them more palatable this Yule.

STAB STAB STAB

Cowboys. Aliens. Bond. Han. Indy, for that matter. The guy who made Iron Man. The guy who made Iron Man 2. (They’re the same guy, FYI.) COWBOYS. ALIENS. If this film were a razor, it would have twelve blades, an Unobtanium handle, a cloaking device and an attachment which provoked shuddering orgasm in every woman within two miles. For a frantic, unashamed wet dream of a film, it’s quite watchable.

Chopper director to tackle Mob drama starring Brad Pitt, Javier Bardem and Casey Affleck. What’s not to like?

How much would you sacrifice for your brother? Offer him a place to stay if he got kicked out of his house? Lend him some money if he was out of work? How about taking a law degree if you knew he’d got himself into some legal trouble? This incredible true story of sibling love sees Hilary Swank and Sam Rockwell deliver heart breaking performances in a brilliantly engaging film.

It has been reported today that Emma Stone, the cute yet surprisingly husky voiced actress from Superbad and Zombieland, will “imminently” be offered the role of Mary Jane Watson in Sony Pictures’ upcoming Spider-Man reboot. But will she even be the film’s love interest? Oh, what a tangled web we weave!

Along with the always cool Sam Rockwell, Kim Catrall and Bette Midler, Pixie will be starring in The Second Coming, a comic re-vamping of the traditional nativity, in which a young pregnant girl travelling to Bethlehem – Maryland USA, discovers that the second coming of Jesus is imminent. Rockwell is set to play her boyfriend Joe, Kim Catrall will be playing her mother, and Bette Midler will be taking the part of the innkeeper. Or something.

The first Iron Man was the surprise hit of 2008 and propelled Robert Downey Jr back into super-stardom. It was the first movie from Marvel Studios, the Marvel comic group’s own production company, and was hailed as a huge success. So just two years after the first movie, Robert Downey Jr is back as the eccentric billionaire Tony Stark. But is the sequel any good? Well, no. Not really.

Iron Man 2, starring Robert Downey Jr. and directed by Jon Favreau is released in May 2010 and looks to build on the success of 2008’s Iron Man. The latest trailer was released on March 7th and looks epic. Joining Downey Jr are Don Cheadle as War Machine, Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow, Sam Rockwell as Justin Hammer and Mickey Rourke as main villan Whiplash. Check out the latest trailer on Best for Film

Anchored by a warm and engaging lead performance from Robert De Niro as a lonely widower who hopes to reconnect his fractured family, Everybody’s Fine hits every emotional note we expect as it proves that the people we hold most dear are often the ones we lie to the most.