Some days it feels like every ruddy actor out there is getting on set and making shit up. With all of the apocryphal stories about improvised lines and made up scenes you begin to wonder why Hollywood still needs screenwriters at all. Normally these tales are 100% bull. And no matter how many times Dustin Hoffman says he made up the “I’m walking here!” line we all know that he really didn’t. Every now and then though something comes along that just feels real. So here are the best, non-surgically enhanced wowza lines in cinema history. (Hello Boys! Yeah, they’re real.)
Really? OK – Battle of the Pacific is a dreary WWII yarn sold to me by Best For Film as a ‘Martin Sheen war drama’, which is true if you take ‘Martin Sheen’ to mean ‘Daniel Baldwin’ and ‘war drama’ to mean ‘fiasco’. Running at a good two hours that feel like a bad three, I only made it to the end by turning the sound down and practicing my ukulele as I waited eagerly for the bad news from Hiroshima – and before you mount your moral high horse, just try sitting through Battle of the Pacific yourself and then tell me you don’t want to see people die.