It’s quite hard to know what to say about the Woody Allen fiasco, other than it’s disturbing on every level. Whether you start with much-beloved-director-allegedly-abused-his-children, or people-we-formerly-respected-leap-to-alleged-rapist’s-defence, that’s a hard one to parse, and brings up some things we’d usually rather not think about.

Don’t give me that. Don’t even try. You’ve seen Love Actually. You know what I mean when I say First Lobster. You know that what comes after David Beckham’s right foot is David Beckham’s left foot. You know that the best way to pick up chicks is to go to Wisconsin. It’s Christmas: here are ten bits I really love, actually about Love Actually, and watching Love Actually. (Or just have thoughts on. I have a lot of Thoughts on Love Actually. Full disclosure: this blog is written a bit smashed at 1am. Merry Christmas, constant readers. You’re tip top.)

This Christmas – indeed, this year – the biggest thing to happen to BFF Literary Correspondent Ella Risbridger has been the day someone left an iPad unlocked and she got to play with it. And since we at Best For Film believe that no pursuit or hobby, no matter how arcane, is too odd to preclude its being the basis of a blog, here are some digital watercolours of the films she’s watched this holiday season. Obviously.

We are now entering what used to be called the dead days: that is, the days between Christmas Eve and New Year’s Day. It’s traditionally a time for witchery, magic, and mystery- and so, here at BFF we’ve compiled a list of films for each of the dead days, specially designed to bring you all the adventure, magic, mystery and witchery you could possibly want while sitting on the sofa in your Christmas PJs.

Look. Bear with me here. I know, I know, you’ve put up with a lot. You’ve put up with two two-thousand word essays on everything Gone with the Wind. You let me declare Chicken Run the greatest film of all time. You read the nonsense I talk about books – on a film blog. But this is probably the worst thing I’ve done yet.

December’s here, and it’s cold and miserable and nobody at Best For Film Towers can breathe without choking on phlegm. We’re not loving winter so far. Fortunately, Ella’s managed to smuggle a bit of good cheer into this ghastly gloomy afternoon – here’s how to get some of your own.

I am not afraid to say it, dear readers: I’m bored of Dickens. Not his stories, per se- she who is tired of A Christmas Carol is tired of life- but I’m bored of talking about Dickens, and Dickens’ troubled childhood in the bottle factory, and Dickens’ hilarious unsettling names for his children, and Dickens’ affairs. Frankly, dear readers, he’s just the least exciting affair-haver in Christendom. Old rich man boffs secretary. Readers appalled.

The best role model for a girl child is a witch. This is true. Nowhere else in film is so solely the preserve of excellent, kick-ass ladies; no other character trope so thoroughly and utterly dominated by clever, fierce, complicated women who get things done and get them done their way. And they are funny. And they are cool. And they dress well. And they are- some of them- pretty brilliantly evil, proper villains, proper, Halloweeny, haunty villains worth fighting. There’s something to aim for, girl-children, on this Halloween night: be worth fighting. The best role model for a girl child is a witch, and here are five of our favourites.

As illness tears through the ranks of Best For Film Towers, our most eclectic writer proffers an unexpected cure – a largely forgotten thirty-four year old cartoon starring Joan Van Ark (who?) as Spider-Woman (who?). Off work with a head cold? Prepare to be decongested.

It’s not that we don’t love Austen, alright? It’s not that we don’t know that everyone loves Austen, and not loving Austen is a crime punishable by excommunication, execution and the interminable exhaustion of Being Wrong on the internet. We love Austen too, in a limited but very real sense. But you can have enough Austen. You can.