The lot of a film critic is not an easy one; actors hate us, we inevitably have breakdowns during LFF, and every now and again we get accused of being paedophiles when we go to kids’ films alone. (This is a true story.) And as an unfortunate soul proved this week in America, once Google Glass rolls out we won’t even be able to further Google’s terrifying march towards global dominance in cinemas! Not that we’d especially want to, mind. Here are five other gadgets (none, alas, real) that we’d much rather take to the pictures.

Film fans are hypocrites. We all pretend we’re in love with French dramas and ruminative comedies about AIDS, but when you get right down to it everyone wants to be – and, therefore, to watch – a superhero. We count down the heroes who’ll be setting your pulse racing in 2014.

It’s that time of year again – for the next six excruciating weeks, film pundits will have nothing better to do than bitch about how their favourite film of the year didn’t get the Oscar nominations it deserves, while whoever moderates IMDb heads towards a nervous breakdown. There’s an easy way to solve this, and he’s called Nicolas.

Whether you’re looking for something beautifully animated to watch, or simply need something to drown out the screams of your insufferable offspring, 2014 has much to offer. Whether hand-drawn, computer-generated or stop-motion, here are nine animated movies to watch out for in the coming months.

Best of, and worst of, lists for the year of 2013 are everywhere. Clearly, this is subjective territory and for everyone who declares, “This film is a giant pile of drivel” someone else claims, “That pile of drivel is the new Citizen Kane.” Opinions are flying because – oooh, ahhh – everyone’s gearing up for award season! With winner pools, layman ballots, even an Academy-sponsored bingo sheet available for download, Oscar parties appear to be all the rage. You won’t need to hire your photographer friends to play paparazzi and yell at attendees all night or an actual length of scarlet carpeting – all you need is a little ingenuity.

Casting directors probably have one of the most important jobs in Hollywood. When it comes to getting somebody right for a role, all sorts of things have to be taken into consideration, like if they have the right look, or if they’re a cokehead who might just not turn up on set or whether or not they’re Jennifer Lawrence (so hot right now). Sometimes, casting directors take a chance and get it spot on – Heath Ledger as The Joker, anyone? Other times, they not only get it wrong. They get it really, really, weird.

After a wobbly start and a second episode so distressing we didn’t even write a blog about it, Sherlock finally gave the fans (apart from those it’s-all-about-the-brolance twerps on Tumblr) what they wanted with last night’s barnstorming episode. We trot across the big/small screen divide to look at some other third instalments that have restored faith in their respective franchises.

The words ‘independent film’ and ‘the National Lottery’ don’t normally go together; but they probably should. In a bid to highlight the mounds of cash that the Lottery diverts from the pockets of hopeless optimists to the cameras of budding film-makers, this short film suggests how one of Britain’s best loved flicks might have turned out without NL funding.

It is common across the film industry to see actors and directors cement firm partnerships over the years starring and creating films together. The film Promised Land reunites the award-winning creative team behind Good Will Hunting, with Gus Van Sant and Matt Damon coming together again to create this thought-provoking drama. In celebration of this partnership, we’re looking at some of the most successful actor/director relationships across the history of film.

We’re a trifle excited about the upcoming Inside Llewyn Davis, have we mentioned that at all? So in its honour we’ve compiled a list of our favourite ever fictional musicians. From rock gods, to rock definitely mortals, to rock not even anythings but rather pop or folk, this is a list of people who should be on your radio right now but aren’t because they’re tragically not real.