The Mayans have spoken, and what they say is that we’re screwed. Cue the effects budget (and sideline sense – if the Mayans knew that much about the future they wouldn’t have got slaughtered by the Conquistadors now, would they?)

When we had finished watching Law Abiding Citizen, we had just one question. What is it with Scottish actors and the American accent? Seriously, first up there was Ewan MacGregor, sounding like he was talking with a mouth full of nails in Deception. You’d have thought Hugh Jackman (who like most Australians has some pretty convincing Yank speak) would have taken him aside and given a few words of advice. Admittedly they were both probably avoiding eye contact in the hope that if they didn’t look at one another they might awake from the nightmare of starring in the worst erotic thriller since Ernest Goes to Jail.

Back to the gritty, urban milieu of earlier films such as Get Carter, Michael Caine delivers an uncompromising and sympathetic performance in Harry Brown, a dark and violent revenge thriller. But where the performances stand out, some of the politics in the film fare less well. Read on to find out what we thought of Michael Caine blowing off more than just doors.

There are some things in life that you hype up to such a ridiculous extent, there’s no way they’re going to live up to your expectations. The media frenzy surrounding New Moon ensured there was very little chance it would live up to expectations, and surprise, surprise, it doesn’t. Golden Compass director Chris Weitz places the film squarely in cheesy superhero blockbuster territory with exaggerated special effects and embarrassingly corny love scenes. The only bright spot on the horizon is newcomer Taylor Lautner, who brings a surprising amount of warmth and likeability to the role of Jacob Black.

“Mirror Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” It’s still Snow White of course. The infamous pasty princess of Disney is back in the 2009 digitally..

Cliff Richard gets together with his ol’ buddies The Shadows to release a grandma-friendly DVD release just in time for Christmas. All the old classics are there, like, y’know… that one about Young Ones, and dolls that come to life to cry and walk at you. Why not buy it and figure out why the chamois-faced crooner is still so popular? Or maybe not.

Presumably, you only went along to the first Night at the Museum to keep the kids quiet for a couple of hours, but you might have found yourself pleasantly surprised. Not so this sequel, with its muddled plot, tired-looking effects and idiotic slapstick humour. Amy Adams, as a gleeful Amelia Earhart, and Hank Azaria, as an evil pharaoh, provide brief moments of entertainment. But they’re not enough to save this shameless commercial cash-in from languishing in the sequel bad place.

A dog is a man’s best friend. Where Marley is concerned however, a dog can also be a man’s worst enemy! In this pet-themed sob story about a family and..

We love George Clooney. If there was ever a man who looked like he could build a log cabin using wood he chopped himself, mixing a martini at the same time, while wearing a tux with a perfectly crafted bow tie it’s him. Seriously, which other actor could come back from the horror that was Batman & Robin to be one of Hollywood’s leading men? And if you don’t think that’s impressive, go ask Val Kilmer how life is treating him post Bruce Wayne duty. So when we settled into our cinema seat to watch his new film The Men Who Stare at Goats, we knew we were in for a treat.

Once again we join Manny the mammoth (Ray Romano), Sid the sloth (Jon Leguizamo), Diego the sabre tooth tiger (Denis Leary) and Manny’s wife Ellie (Queen Latifah) in a new..