Orange(Wednesday)s and Lemons #87

*A new week, a new thousand reasons to obsess over Joseph Gordon-Levitt (and his tiny clone Kodi Smit-McPhee). What will you be seeing this week? Alex is kicking things off:*

Alex (guerrilla shaver):
Orange this week can only go to the wonderful ParaNorman, which judging by box-office reports, probably needs all the help it can get. Well, I’m here to help! ParaNorman is a marvellous film; funny, thrilling, beautifully animated, and with plenty of heart – without ever becoming sappy – it’s an absolute joy. Go and see it. Since I’m not allowed to have That’s My Boy again (and for all the weeks to come until the end of time), I’ll go with How To Make Love To A Woman, which based on the tag-line “don’t beat around the bush” is likely to be a crass, bawdy comedy riddled with obvious knob gags and bad cameos (some rudimentary Googling reveals that Jenna Jameson is in it – say no more). Go with the kids film; it’ll be smarter and more mature.

Orange Choice: ParaNorman
Ultimate Lemon: How To Make Love To A Woman


Rayne (grammar maveric’k):
New out this week, you’ve got to see Premium Rush, a film which gives us a chance to see Joseph Gordon Levitt’s well-oiled leg muscles working their way around a bicycle (it’s a chance well worth seizing). My lemon is going to William Eubank’s Love, which is being billed as a Solaris-esque space thriller. I just don’t feel like we need another Solaris and I don’t have enough body muscles to do the amount of cringing that the thought of someone naming their film Love makes me want to do.

Orange Choice: Premium Rush
Ultimate Lemon: Love


Papa Neish (just bloody loves everything):
While part of me would love to Orange Premium Rush this week, in a bid to compensate for its bafflingly limited release, I only have eyes for one new release. Big, doey, plasticine eyes. Like Coraline but funnier, LAIKA’s ParaNorman is quite simply one of the best films you will see this year: a children’s zombie movie with enough substance for even George A. Romero to get his teeth into. Lawless, on the other hand, is still as pants as it was last week. Proof that you can’t make moonshine from Lemons, however hard you try.

Orange Choice: ParaNorman
Ultimate Lemon: Lawless


Kayleigh (reduced to fruit/tits jokes):
This week sees my orange bestowed upon Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s new film Premium Rush. My reasons for this are threefold; firstly, I enjoy tense cat-and-mouse thrillers. Secondly, the bicycle element may help fill the void left in my soul since the London 2012 Olympic Games ended. Thirdly, I want nothing more than to stare at Joseph Gordon-Levitt, all day, every day, forever and ever. I would give him both of MY oranges without hesitation. On the other hand, I’m guiltily giving my lemon to Now Is Good. Oh SURE, it has Dakota Fanning and an upbeat terminal cancer story, but I’m just… I’m just not in the mood for sobbing in the cinema this week. Perhaps I’ll use a barrow-full of lemons to help me bury my emotions beneath a sea of bright yellow glory instead.

Orange Choice: Premium Rush
Ultimate Lemon: Now Is Good


*ParaNorman or Premium Rush? Let us know which you’ll be seeing below, and we’ll see you next week!*

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