Orange(Wednesday)s and Lemons #90
*The BFF ranks have been swelled once more with eager new writers desperate to cram their opinions down your throats – and where better to start than with the pick of the week’s films? Clown-fighter Vincent is kicking us off…*
Vincent (pork pie assassin):
Orange of the week is Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted, which took me completely by surprise. Although I haven’t actually seen it yet, Eli’s earnest assertion of how good it is has made me second-guess my natural position of disliking anything with too much colour. I also give Ben Stiller a lot of credit for Zoolander and Tropic Thunder, although those props are waning quick. Still, you put Ben Stiller in a movie, I’m going to toss some extra stars on there regardless. I’m giving the Lemon to Paranormal Activity 4, since it is utterly sour and, I believe, actually tried to kill me by slipping my brain into atrophy. As I lover of horror, I was deeply mortified. It makes me long for the heady days of Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhatten.
Orange Choice: Madagascar 3
Ultimate Lemon: Paranormal Activity 4
Alex (Why use one word when forty will do?):
Well, lemon and ginger go together nicely in food and drink, so why not here in the OWLs! Lemon this week goes to Ginger & Rosa, which is only good if you really like hateful, pretentious arseholes being awful to one another. Orange goes to The Penguin King 3D, a charming documentary about a King Penguin on the remote island of South Georgia, narrated by David Attenborough. Everyone loves penguins, and everyone loves Attenborough, so there’s almost no way this won’t be great. Plus, you can experience all the penguiny goodness in three dimensions! I’m hoping it’ll feature lots of hilarious polar shenanigans, much like my other favourite penguin based documentary, Pingu.
Orange Choice: The Penguin King
Ultimate Lemon: Ginger & Rosa
Eli (one-sixteenth Scottish):
Not much to choose from this week, but there’s one film that stands head and shoulders above the competition. It’s got beasts, it’s wild, it is of course Madagascar 3! Cinemas across the land are marching dutifully through their annual quota of Halloween films, (LOUD NOISES for the adults, stop motion for the wee-ones) and frankly I’m sick of it. Paranormal Activity? More like Normal Activity by now. That was satisfying. The only thing worth making an appointment for this scare season is the release of the extended US cut of The Shining, but it’s not ready yet. Steady your nerves instead with something genuinely surprising, and unexpectedly heart-warming. I’m still talking about Madagascar. Beasts of the Southern Wild can suck it.
Orange Choice: Madagascar 3
Ultimate Lemon: Beasts of the Southern Wild
Kayleigh (Christmas tree stylist):
This week, I’d like to hand my orange over to Flying Swords Of Dragon Gate. In 3D. After all, who doesn’t love an unnecessary remake with hallucinogenic effects? PSYCH! As if, Hark Tsui – I’m all for opulent martial arts films (House of Flying Daggers is a total dream come true, if you’re interested) but the entire selling point of these stylish flicks is their uniqueness. You get a lemon, for being such an utterly disappointing rehash of the 1966 classic. In all seriousness, I can’t WAIT to give my orange to Ginger & Rosa. Why? Because I have a major girl crush on Elle Fanning and can’t wait to see her tackle the role of a troubled British teenager (bring on the Limey accent!) during the October missile crisis of 1962. WW2. Betrayal. Teenage lust. ELLE FANNING! It can only ever be amazing.
Orange Choice: Ginger & Rosa
Ultimate Lemon: The Flying Swords Of Dragon Gate
*No clear consensus this week – maybe you will be better off waiting for Skyfall. Happy juicing!*