Top 10 Mononymous Film Titles
Jack is about a ten-year-old boy (Robin Williams) with an ageing disease like progeria, only more hilarious (just imagine if the symptoms of progeria resulted in you growing a vast carpet of body hair and developing a cocaine addiction. That would be MAD lolz). Jack has never been to school and instead has a home tutor (played by Bill Cosby, for some reason). Then, his parents decide to send him to school where he is initially bullied but eventually accepted by the other children, with the help of the kindly Miss Marquez (played by Jennifer Lopez, for some reason).
Alternative title? Big (it’s not taken, we checked)
No, not the 1995 remake with Harrison Ford, you philistines. We’re talking about the 1954 film starring Audrey Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart. Audrey plays the eponymous Sabrina, the daughter of a chauffeur to a rich family, the Larrabees. Sabrina has always been in love with the much older David Larrabee (Bogart was 55, Hepburn was 25 YIKES) and after returning from a cookery school in Paris everyone’s like “Wooooooh girl. You taaaaaasty!” At which point David’s younger playboy brother starts to court Sabrina. All kind of shit goes down.
Alternative title? The Girl Who Went to Paris and Came Back a Babe
Michael is a film starring John Travolta as one of the archangels. We’re fairly sure he plays Gabriel. Anyway, he’s a bad sort of angel who likes to eat cakes and smoke cigarettes and sleep with ladies. As far as we know, that’s mostly the plot, apart from that some reporters come to look at him and he helps them find love. Which we all know is what angels are for.
Alternative title? Bad Angel
Recently remade as the wildly successful Russell Brand vehicle, the original film starred Dudley Moore as Arthur, a man who is so desperately rich he can afford to wear a hat when he has a bath! Phew. We can’t even imagine having that much money. He must have AT LEAST seven thousand in his bank account. The plot is that Arthur is supposed to marry some schmancy society lady but instead falls in love with Liza Minelli.
Alternative title? Mr Moneybags Falls in Love
We once saw Ellen Page (who we all know the truth about) at the cinema, watching Moon. She was by herself and afterwards she went to the toilet and we followed her in and she was so tiny! It was almost creepy how tiny she was. Obviously, this is entirely beside the point, but we thought you should know. In case you’re planning on taking her on any rollercoasters or getting her to fetch things down from high shelves for you. Anyway, Juno was her breakout film, charting the pregnancy of a teenage girl.
Alternative title? Preggo
Harvey is a film about a man called Elwood (James Stewart) whose best friend is an invisible rabbit called Harvey. Obviously, everyone thinks he’s mad and tries to get him sectioned. It’s a heartwarming, beloved film that’s about the power of imagination (maybe) and the importance of love and faith (?) in a cynical world (we might have just made that up).
Alternative title? Me, Myself and a Giant Rabbit
This is a classic film noir from Otto Preminger. It centres on the murder of a beautiful young woman named Laura (Gene Tierney), and the detective who is on the case. The film is famous for having a bit of a twist around half way through, and then another biggie right at the end. It’s full of rainstorms, overcoats, beautiful hair and oodles of suspense.
Alternative title? The Lady Who Got Shotgunned in the Face
Stephen King likes to write books with mononymous titles: Christine, Cujo, Carrie. Well that’s it, really. So let’s say he likes to write books with mononymous titles beginning with “C”. What’s he got against the letter “C”? WEIRDO. Anyway, Carrie is a famous film adaptation of the Stephen King novel about a telekinetic girl (Sissy Spacek) who’s a big freak and no one in school likes her. Then she gets asked to the dance by a super cute guy with curls to die for. Voted Prom Queen, she is horrified when the evil kids pour pig blood on her head and then she – well, let’s just say SHE DOESN’T TAKE IT WELL.
Alternative title? Pretty In Pig
Luc Besson’s film tells the story of a young girl, Mathilda (Natalie Portman) and a French hitman, Léon (Jean Reno), who lives in her building. After the brutal murder of her family, Mathilda takes refuge with Léon, falls in love with him and persuades him to help her seek vengeance for her family. It’s a tender, tragic tale of love – within the framework of a violent and corrupt society – with standout performances from Reno and Portman. And Gary Oldman is CRAZY in it. He’s so crazy! He has crazy eyes.
Alternative title? French Hitmen Drink Milk
This classic mystery from Hitchcock is a film adaptation of the classic novel by Daphne Du Maurier. It centres on an unnamed young woman (Joan Fontaine) who marries rich widower Max de Winter (Laurence Olivier) but quickly discovers that his house, and indeed his whole life, is haunted by the memory of his first wife, the beautiful Rebecca. It’s a noirish suspense that centres on the lingering presence of Rebecca. The film won Best Picture at the 1941 Oscars and has gone down in history as one of Hitchcock’s finest achievements. “This film kicks butt” – Planet Earth.
Alternative title? No. Nope. Sorry, this film can ONLY be called Rebecca.
Can you think of any other mononymous films we’ve missed? If so, let us know!