Top 6 Arbitrary Amanda Seyfried Facts
Since earning solid reviews as the brick-thick Karen in Mark Waters’ watershed comedy Mean Girls, and after having let at least five ABBA songs off lightly when they could have gone to a self-concious Stellan Skarsgård or tone-deaf Pierce Brosnan in Mamma Mia!, Hollywood hasn’t quite known what to do with the perpetually doe-eyed Amanda Seyfried. At least until my live-action Bambi screenplay is finally made.
After starting out aged 11 as a child model, Seyfried has dabbled in teen horror (Solstice, Jennifer’s Body), flawed fantasy (Red Riding Hood, In Time), punctuation-heavy television (House, M.D., C.S.I: Crime Scene Investigation) and much letter-writing (Dear John, Letters to Juliet), without ever finding her industry niche. With new movie Gone, the actress turns to the action-thriller genre, as she defies the authorities and sets out to save her sister from some ambiguous threat with a gun in her hand and a saucer in her eye.
Having accidentally exhausted her extant filmography in my introduction, then, here’s a list of six things that you probably didn’t know about Amanda Seyfried. Go on, it’ll only take a minute:
#6 – She was very nearly in Sucker Punch
You remember Sucker Punch, don’t you? That sleazy, over-stylised excuse for narrative that fought New Year’s Eve for the title of Worst Film of 2011? Well if it hadn’t been for commitments to her HBO series Big Love it would have been Seyfried, and not Emily Browning, who spent the better part of two hours wasting your life in painstaking slow motion as the utterly ridiculous Babydoll. Doesn’t her choice of Red Riding Hood seem positively inspired by comparison? Or at the very least not quite so spirit-crushingly repellent.
#5 – She has appeared on the cover of three books
During the height of Mamma Mia! mania, having adorned film posters, DVDs and the front of the movie’s soundtrack, you’d imagine that the one place you’d be safe from Amanda Seyfried’s impossibly wide gaze would be your local library. That is, the dwindling part of your local library that still stocks books. NOT SO, for the actress has also been the cover-girl for Sweet Valley High writer Francine Pascal on THREE separate occasions. No, I’ve never heard of her either.
#4 – She recorded a track for the Dear John soundtrack
In addition to covering just about every ABBA song ever, Amanda Seyfried is also a bona fide recording artist in her own right, having had songs featured on the soundtracks of both Dear John and Red Riding Hood. Look, she can even hold a guitar!
#3 – She’s well aware of how boring she isOh God, make it stop!
#2 – She’s fucking obsessed with jeans
OK, so maybe I’m stretching here. But that doesn’t excuse the fact that, out of the numerous personal quotes attributed to her by IMDb, FOUR OF THEM are dedicated to her respect, love for and creepy fetishisation of denim. She collects them, for goodness sake. WHO DOES THAT? And you don’t even have to take my word for it: “I have jeans with holes in them and I have nice jeans. I have casual and I have dressy jeans. I’ve got all kinds.” Yeesh, thanks for sharing.
#1 – She has five films scheduled for release this year
While Gone might have suffered at the hands of critics and poster designers alike, and ultimately enjoyed only a fraction of the publicity lavished on the likes of Battleship, The Cabin In The Woods or even Salmon Fishing In The Yemen, it is mercifully not Seyfried’s only project due for release this year. In fact, the actress has another four films en route to cinemas, and two of them are even half kind of interesting. In addition to The End Of Love and The Wedding, then, there is also a Linda Lovelace biopic co-starring Sharon Stone and James Franco (as Hugh Hefner, of all people) on the way, as well as an adaptation of Seyfried’s own personal favourite musical, Les Misérables, for which she will play the role Cosette. Soz Catherine Johnson, it just is.
So, there we have it: whole entire words about Amanda Seyfried. Now let us never speak of her again.