Harry Potter producer to join Temple Run movie

David Heyman, best known for producing all eight Harry Potter films (yep, even Chamber of Secrets. Even Half Blood Prince. We wouldn’t be boasting either), has entered negotiations to join the forthcoming film adaptation of Imangi Studios’ record-breaking mobile game Temple Run.

Like its pixellated namesake, Harry Potter and the Temple of Running Temple Ron Temple Run will tell the relatively linear story of an explorer who desecrates a temple and then has to run for an extended period of time while being chased by weird demonic monkeys. Linear isn’t necessarily bad – look at Unstoppable – but we can’t see how the traditional end of every Temple Run game (i.e. being squashed, set aflame, eaten, spiked, drowned or simply plummeting to your death) is really going to factor in. Maybe it’ll be like Run Lola Run? Or maybe you’ll get to vote for the death you want at each screening? We don’t care, so long as there isn’t a happy ending – the point of Temple Run is that nobody gets out alive.

We don’t currently have any more news on this story, because it’s colossally stupid. Check back soon for more depressing Hollywood-rapes-every-other-creative-industry updates. Sigh.

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