He’ll probably be good at it, because he wrote Last Action Hero. Which was in no way the shittiest film of all time. Promise.

Unless it’s going to star Charlie Sheen, we couldn’t be more bored.

Described by pretty much everyone as riveting and one of the most original films of the year, The Arbor is the powerful true story of slum playwright Andrea Dunbar. It’s in cinemas from October 22 – but we have 3 DVDs to give away now! Competition ends 9 April 2011.

3SOME (rated 15) is a Spanish drama based on a love triangle of idealistic students who discover their menage a trois can’t survive in the real world. What price must we pay to satisfy our desires? We have 3 copies to give away! Competition ends 9 April 2011.

Competition closed. Winners: S Lane, B Goodwin, A Rotherham

We’re not going to lie, it’s a bit odd this week. But that won’t stop you, creeping inexorably towards the blog like one of those menacing disembodied hands which turns up in four out of every five zombie movies. Creepy… creepy… creepy OH GOD IT’S A NEXT GENERATION SPEEDY ZOMBIE NOT A ROMERO ZOMBIE IT’S RUNNING IT’S EATING MY MOTHER NOOOOOOO

Rubina Ali, who played the youngest version of Latika in Slumdog Millionaire, has lost her home in a Mumbai slum fire.

It only takes two dimensions to storm the US box office.

Had anyone else even heard of it? It’s in Wales, and it does very little.

Hobbits, eh? You either love ’em or you want to set fire to the filthy matted hair on top of their knobbly feet – and if you don’t subscribe to either of those positions then ssh, because they’re sort of the cornerstone of this whole blog. Master debaters Tash and John are going head to head in a bit to decide whether or not the Shire should be burnt to the ground.