Two things, specifically, make the Romans attractive to filmmakers: Christians, and depraved emperors. As a result, they’re now are cemented in cinema as dastardly villains, mad emperors, sex crazed ladies, and gays. Probably incestuous gays. Or bestial gays. Or whatever the worst thing you can think of is. And quite rightly so, the Romans were bastards; that’s why I like them. So here, in no particular order (except number one, which is definitely number one) are my favourite Romans in film.

Helen Mirren is officially the oldest woman in the world that you’re allowed to want to sleep with. Which is nice. She’s also indisputably one of the finest actors of her generation, which is nicer. But did you know that she’s descended from Russian nobility? No, you didn’t. Sounds like somebody needs an ice cold Cheat Sheet…

Independent cinemas are bloody brilliant. Nobody’s wearing a uniform more elaborate than a black t-shirt, the bar has drinks which aren’t carbonated or soft, and if anyone tries to fumble for an Orange Wednesdays text-ticket they’re cast into the outer darkness. Cracking. This week we’ve been to another one – the unique and spectacular Prince Charles.