Can we bombard Jessica Alba with gamma rays until she disappears? A couple minutes on high should get the job done.
The wait is finally over! After no fewer than four stand-alone prequels, the giants of Marvel’s metahuman stable explode onto the silver screen in a joyous orgy of action, wit and great big hammers. Visionary director Joss Whedon pulls off the ultimate balancing act as Earth’s Mightiest Heroes™ settle their differences for one of the most exhilarating superhero films ever.
Remember how good Buffy was? And Firefly and Serenity? And Angel? And Firefly? DO YOU REMEMBER? DO YOU? Here at BFF we remember because, much like elephants well-versed in the art of watching films and TV shows and writing nonsense about them, WE NEVER FORGET ABOUT THOSE FILMS AND TV SHOWS. To cut a long story very short (because we’re all wetting ourselves over the release of Cabin in the Woods and need to get to the toilet pronto) we bring you a Top Ten list that would make even Terrence Malick quake in his hermit boots. So here, take these words and read them knowing there’s no way you will ever be as good a person as Joss Whedon. Oh, and, we should probably say….SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS.
If you look at them really quickly at 24fps, it’s basically like a very poorly edited film that lasts half a second.
What’s Your Number? tells the story of Ally Darling a woman who, upon discovering that sleeping with more then twenty men is a one-way ticket to Spinster City via Loneliness Junction, retraces her dating past in an attempt to unearth ‘the one’ she may have discarded. Of course, LOVE was waiting JUST NEXT DOOR. Predictable, yes. A fun way to waste an afternoon? Also yes.
Assemble! No, you all need to bunch in a bit – Bruce, can you stand at the back? Don’t look straight at the camera, Tony…