Would you like Steven Spielberg to come over there and lick your toes clean, Michel Hazanavicius? That’s probably the only accolade left.

All we need now is to hear that he’s the new Bond…

That’s the BAFTA OWRSA to you.

Creepy cabin! Doll masks! Electronic forcefields!

HAMMER!

Don’t worry, Kristen Stewart doesn’t say anything in it.

Yeah, that one.

‘Wait. What? What is, what is going on? Is that a robot? Oh. Hang on. They’re dancing now. And singing! Where did those ladies in bikinis come from? Oh my god! Is he – is he dead? This is so sad! And touching and – wait. Intermission?’ My brain, the whole way through this film.

HAMMER! Wait, who?

After the desolate wasteland of 2010 (The Crazies, and…?), 2011 has actually been a half decent year for horror movies: Kill List, Black Swan, Stake Land, Troll Hunter, Julia’s Eyes, Attack the Block (sort of), the first half of Insidious, the second half of Scream 4… But if early whisperings are to be believed, 2012 is going to be much better. LIST TIME.