It’s not scary, it’s not funny, it’s not even very bloody. Aside from a few interesting set designs, the only revelation here is how bad it is. Silent Hill: Revelation is in the running for worst film of the year, and at the moment the odds are in its favour. Run from it.

Ewww…. Ahhhh…. Eeeesh… That doesn’t go there! Let’s be honest: you don’t want to read this article and we’re really sorry we wrote it. Mildly NSFW, and seriously NSFSanity.

If you love horror films and you have at least twenty-four hours to live, then there is absolutely nothing you should be doing more than reading (and subsequently adhering to) this itinerary. How else are you going to know what to watch at six thirty in the morning when you’ve just watched a zombie baby rip someone’s head open?