Peter Jackson will be suffering from exhaustion any day now

Cults! Can’t live with ’em, can’t run away from ’em without being burnt alive as a human sacrifice to the pleasure gods. Over the years, cults – with all their hifalutin child eating and wicker brandishing – have inspired many a filmmaker to get their crazy deeds up on the big screen. And, as seen most recently in Paul Thomas Anderson’s The Master, they’re still hot stuff. So, in honour of the release of PTA’s film, but mainly because BY THE BEARD OF THE HARVEST GOD we love a good sacrificial killing, BFF presents you with the Top Ten Cults in Film. Warning: contains boobs and fire, obviously.

A zombie dance routine? How quaint.

Except it’s not a real trilogy at all. Just three films that are a bit similar. Look, it’s a slow news day, alright?

Blood and Ice Cream all ’round!

FINALLY!

In this vast, unknowable, ever-changing universe there are few things which we can safely rely on to remain constant. Thus those that do, those that struggle on relentlessly, blithely ignoring the evanescent nature of human existence – taxes, the Kardashians, films which pit one mythical creature/alien/abstract concept against another in a brutal fight to the death – can only bring us joy. In recognition, then, of the grand tradition of the “something vs something else” film – and to celebrate the release of Strippers vs. Werewolves – we bring you the Top Ten Versus Films. Enjoy! But remember, whoever wins, we lose/get eaten.

Hipsters everywhere piss pants with excitement.

It’s Saturday morning – you’d planned to get up early and make the most of the day, but instead you hid under the covers until quarter to eleven like a shut-in with a passion for snuggliness. You’re such a failure. But never mind – if you’re not going to experience the world first-hand, you can just catch up on the best of the week’s movie news with our regular round-up!

The World’s End! 2012! Brilliant!