Kablamm! Hear that? It’s the (scientifically inaccurate) sound of space crap exploding in your face! BAZAMMM! Welcome to Lockout, people. If you’re looking for a film that’s entertaining in a kind of “We all know the drill, let’s get this over and done with shall we?” kinda way, it’s officially your lucky day. Explosions! Psychotic prisoners! Space! Guy Pearce’s upper arms! What more could you ask for? Well apart from logic and a strong story, obviously.

Everybody in them looks worried. Join us as we try to figure out what this could mean…

Fox up their brain-washing campaign for Prometheus with faux-promotional video for Weyland Industries.

Justice, the second Nic Cage thriller to hit our screens this week, is slightly better than Trespass, the first Nic Cage thriller to hit our screens this week. So… that’s something, isn’t it?

In space Noomi can hear you scream.

Easy for the title to say. Prepare to be mildly unsettled by Guillermo del Toro’s latest darkened fairytale, featuring our old childhood chums, the toothfairies. Except it seems they’ve up-sized to devouring whole children…

You watch a film where it goes from beginning to end, with no flashbacks at all, and you call yourself a hardened movie fan? Shame on you! It’s all about jumping through the plot, a little like dropping a needle at random on an old vinyl to see what plays next. It’s sudden, it’s fractured, it’s completely confusing… it’s sometimes a bit gimmicky. But, oh my, how we love a clock that tock ticks rather than tick tocks!

And we sort of know what it’s about now…but not really.

Phew, now we really know what’s going on… Right?

Hey, you! Yeah, you! You look like the sort of guy who knows less than he should about Australian actors. Specifically, 43-year-old Australian actors who have starred in films ranging from drag queen comedies to period dramas via cannibal war flicks. Actors like Guy Pearce, in fact. Get yo’ass in here, boy, you’ve got a lot to learn…