The infamous Chelsea Hotel may be closing its doors forever. To make us feel better about the whole thing, we’ve compiled a list of hotels we’d hate to stay in. Movie hotels, obviously. Because this is a film website, or something.

Have you ever thought, we mean really thought, about Sean Penn? We have. And lo and behold one of us thinks he’s of the Parker fountain Penn of Hollywood, and the other thinks he’s just the biro that the dog has chewed and oh god someone call the vet, it’s choking.

We all know that movie cliché where the girl bumps into her ex at the supermarket and is totally embarrassed and falls over and makes a damn fool out of herself. But what about when you are offered a part in a film only to find out that acting right opposite is your old “racket buddy”?

This summer, you can hardly move for superhero films – and Green Lantern aside, we’ve seen most of the stars before. All the classic heroes have had a fair few outings with different faces by now, and if there’s one thing we hate about competition it’s not knowing who’s the WINNER. Feel like arbitrarily deciding whether Michael Keaton’s better at being grumpy than Christian Bale? Good.

The Ending of a film is often the most memorable part – and we’ve gathered ten of our favorite final lines of dialogue for your viewing pleasure.

The release of 13 Assassins has brought with it the most petrifying and believable villain that has graced our cinema screens in a long time. Now that we have returned to creating characters that will keep you awake at night it is time to lament the passing of some of the most reprehensible humans ever brought to life.

Who, in the entire history of the movies, has been the most badly behaved? Whose pursuit of sex, drugs and glory was the most relentless, debauched or just downright deplorable? We raise our shot glasses to our Top 10 real life movie LADS, all of whom go to prove that rock and roll is alive, well, and probably trying to sleep with you.

Following up on our list of best horror remakes, guest blogger Richard has bitten the bullet and sat through some of the worst. Reading this blog may be cause for a little sympathetic squirming; still, at least you’ll never have to feel the real pain of seeing a classic defiled. Tedium. Silliness. Irrelevance – these films have em all!

A cute but predictable rom-com with a decent line up, How Do You Know might not set the world on fire, but it will warm the cockles of your heart and bring a smile to your face. Unless you are actually a machine, in which case this will just annoy you.

Flu, the shakes, the shivers, the shimmies, it’s that time of year and we’re all going through it. So maybe stay at home, stick on a DVD and doze yourself to freedom. But beware. In such sensitive fever-based situations, there are films to be avoided. And we’ve got the shortlist right here. Grab your seventh cup of tea, your pyjamas and least damp hankerchief and join us…