Ewww…. Ahhhh…. Eeeesh… That doesn’t go there! Let’s be honest: you don’t want to read this article and we’re really sorry we wrote it. Mildly NSFW, and seriously NSFSanity.

Nothing groundbreaking or awe-inspiring to be seen here, but John Carpenter being just okay is still better than no John Carpenter at all. Flimsy plot and performances, but what you’re forking over for is the shocks, and he still delivers better than most. Will leave you thinking, “Come on, John… let’s next time get our hands REALLY dirty.”