“You’re not Bosnian, you’re that guy from the massage parlour!”

Drive, Zac Efron. Drive away and never come back

Ensemble comedy Movie 43, which has been branded the “worst film ever” is climbing the box office charts.

If* we ever build a time machine, Adam, we’re going back to 1966 to kick your mum in the stomach. *When

Oh guess what, it’s time for another Katherine Heigl film to come out. Why? Because you touch yourself. It’s One For The Money day, and the only rational response is to drink until you don’t have a mouth anymore. Have we seen the film yet? That’s hardly the point.

New Year’s Eve gives you one final chance; a chance for hope, and a night for taking chances. For when love takes a chance, every day is like New Year’s Eve. On the eve of love, and chances, sometimes taking a chance on hope is the only hope that feels like new. Take a chance! Hope with love! Love your news! Time is running out! Time will never run out if you have love in your chances! GOD LET ME DIE, LET ME DIE LIKE I HOPE ALL THESE CHARACTERS DIE

Sorry Garry.

This Friday heralds the release of Philip Seymour Hoffman’s directorial debut, Jack Goes Boating. In honour of his achievements in the worlds of film and seeming like a nice man, we have decided to take a look back at his career. From bit parts to lead roles, Hoffman has always stood out as a dignified, intelligent actor. Plus, he was in Triple Bogey on a Par Five Hole, only our favourite movie of all time!

Faces! Look at all the famous faces! And the names! So many names!

Spicoli tries his hand at directing again. How fancy!