Sex is awful isn’t it? Sweaty rutting that fails to stimulate a beneficial experience greater than the nerves, the physical exertion or the time you could have spent playing Final Fantasy XIV. Hello ladies, why yes I am single. Like most crippling personality defects, revulsion of sex probably stems from cinema. The great sex scenes are bad enough, creating a standard for physical beauty, ambient lighting and stamina that a mortal male could never hope to achieve, but it’s the terrible sex scenes that have really burrowed deep into your psyche.
Oh dear, Shia.
Willem Dafoe does look a bit like a Disney villain, to be fair.
You made the Wright choice, Joe.
The first image has been released of Lars Von Trier’s explicit sex film, Nymphomaniac and it looks bleak.
We don’t want to ruin your Friday, but grubby paedophile Roman Polanski is making an erotic film.
A film in which most of the cast get to have sex with each other. Must have been a hard sell.
We’re totally going to put something other than the word NAZI in this excerpt.
NAZIS NAZIS NAZIS