As a rule, sellout films usually contain a colon and/or a number. We’re looking at you, Speed 2: Cruise Control. Yet, the definition of a ‘sellout’ is tricky, because producers are very good at making shit smell like roses, and before you know it you’re on the set of National Treasure: Book of Secrets. When you see a film and think, ‘what the devil is Globey McOscar doing in this?!’ we’ve got the three reasons behind their decision to sell their soul.

If at first you don’t succeed, fail miserably again. Three years after the crass and homophobic comedy Wild Hogs, Robin Williams and John Travolta reunite with director Walt Becker for this chaotic road movie that proves parenting is a lot harder than it looks. So, it would seem, is writing and directing a film that retains a single laugh, because Old Dogs is 88 tortuous minutes of limp gags missing easy targets.

You know what we enjoy doing? Going to the future. We also enjoy going back to the future, but we gotten into copyright problems with that before. The point is, we’ve risked life and limb to discover what films are hitting our screens in upcoming weeks. Don’t ask us how we’ve done it. All we’ll say is that the Wikipedia Towers of the future are a terrifying and overly bear-guarded place. So, should you save our pennies for an upcoming epic, or splurge like there’s no tomorrow on the flicks out now? We’ve got the answers right here.