Remember the good old days? Before you decided it would be a good idea to watch ‘A Serbian Film’ because everyone told you not to (seriously, don’t). You know, when horror could be scary without damaging you and all your subsequent relationships for the rest of your life. Back when all the kids at school were talking about that awesome new American movie with the big silver ring and the videotape that makes you die. Well now it’s time to look shamefully back, and chastise your adolescent self for thinking for one second that a western remake of that ‘movie with the creepy Japanese girl’ could come anywhere close to its original. Welcome to the world of J-horror.

Remake? No. Reinvent? Yes! Join us on an adventure in repetition as we go on an adventure in repetition. Learn your what to do and (more importantly) what not to do in the many occasions throughout your life when you will be called upon to direct the remake of a classic movie.

Considering the amount of time, effort and money the big bad beasties of Hollywood have to put together a stunning window into the house of their creation, there’s no excuse for a bad poster. And as our nursery school teacher always told us, abject humiliation is the only way people learn. So here, for your viewing pleasure, is our pick of the top ten worst movie posters of all time.

The remake of The Karate Kid is coming out soon and I’m scared. I have visions of myself coming out of the screen a broken woman, feebly humming Joe Esposito’s You’re the Best to myself. The horror of seeing a much loved film pillaged by grasping Hollywood producers is traumatic enough to merit the forming of some sort of support group.