The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug is a horrendous mishmash of CGI-dependent action sequences and poorly-paced unconvincing drama; but rather like a dwarf in a river-borne barrel, it bobs along rather nicely. Also like a dwarf, it carries quite a lot of extra flab around the middle, but its unassailable charisma and magnificent facial hair…

Make some effort, Pete.

We’ve got the entire list right here

Legolas is back! At Lego-last…

A few days ago, Best For Film’s editor John Underwood said something very, very rash on Twitter: “Deckard was so a replicant.” Just the sort of blasé observation that would usually pass unnoticed amongst the LOLcats and nasty comments about Giles Coren… usually, yes, but not this time. Comedian, musician, musical comedian, comic musician and bard/jester extraordinaire Mitch Benn heroically decided to set the record straight and, over the course of the longest article we have ever published, now presents his defence of the much-maligned 1982 cut of Ridley Scott’s masterpiece Blade Runner. Hold on to your synthetic snakes…

The title utilises irony, which is nice.

Paul WS Anderson has committed the greatest act of cultural rape since Stephenie Meyer thought “Whitby and dogs are all very well, but none of it’s really sparkly enough…”. The Three Musketeers is plagiarised from so many disparate sources that I can scarcely keep up with them – unfortunately, however, Alexandre Dumas’ classic romance isn’t among them. This film is unforgivable.

It’s Orlando Bloom’s face fuzz vs Colin Firth’s clean shave as new trailer for Main Street is finally released

Some days we genuinely don’t know why we bother.

A red sun rises. Plot has been spilt this night.