Safe Haven is out in cinemas this week. This is a fact. We cannot refute it – nor can we stop it from happening (believe us, we’ve tried). What we can do, however, is give you 10 very good reasons to stay the hell away from it…

You know Ireland? That place where everyone dresses in green, the only drink available is Guiness, everyone is very sure (to be sure, to be sure), and where if you look a flame-headed man in the eye, you’re libel fer a beatin? No, us neither. As that place exists only in the minds of cigar-toting, fleshy eyed Hollywood executives. And now, also in Leap Year. Hoi ti toy ti toy.