Ten days until Christmas – what could be more festive than the tale of some homeless kids who live in a department store? If you don’t know what we’re talking about, whip yourself with a holly bough.

We’ve melted our brains watching some of the oddest Christmas films ever committed to celluloid; the least you can do is read our opinions. This blog is suitable for fans of squirrels, kidnapping, teleportation, Martians, amnesia, S Club 7, rent arrears, curling, balloons and rape.